Klance oneshots

Voltron, except...

...It's things me and my friends have said/done. 

Pidge and Lance: *singing le mis*

Keith: Ugh, they're singing le mis again.

Shiro: THEY'RE WHAT!?

Shiro: *runs into room* DO YOU HEAR THE PEOPLE SING-

Keith: *on ground crying*

****

Lance: I like to think Hell is actually a very LGBTQA+ friendly place because if us LGBTQA+ers are going to Hell, not all of us could have been bad. 

Keith: thANK YOU.

****

Keith: I have a theory. I bet, when Amelia Earhart crashed, she landed on Themyscira and lived the rest of her life out with her wife.

Lance: I love you. 

****

Pidge: Hey, can you come over on Thursday?

Hunk: You already asked me. 

Pidge: Oh.

Hunk: Yesterday.

Hunk: I gave you my answer. 

Hunk: We had an in-depth conversation about it.

****

Lance: The only exercise I really get currently is when Pidge and I can play in the backyard every day during school hours and she chases me pretending to be a haunted doll. Such exercise.

Keith: Wow, that was emotional. Are you okay? Are you scarred for life? I will buy you ice cream and books, but I have no money, so... suffer.

****

Lance: I did yoga today.

Pidge: Good for you. How did that go? 

Lance: I was really shaky but I pulled through.

Pidge: Congrats.

Lance: *finger guns*

****

Pidge: Wait, why can't I watch Deadpool this is driving me inSANE!

Pidge: *screams*

Pidge: CURSE MY AGE!

****

Hunk: Once, when I was seven, I decided I wanted a pie, so I made a lemon meringue pie all by myself and it was so beautiful.

Lance: You were seven?

Hunk: Yeah.

Lance: Dude.

Hunk: *proudly* I know.

****

Keith: WHEN I WAS A KID I HELPED MY MOM MAKE A LEMON CAKE AND IT WAS TWO LAYERED AND IT LOOKED SO PRETTY BUT MY LITTLE SISTER ATE A HANDFUL OF IT AFTER IT WAS COOKED AND I WAS SO BETRAYED AND THERE WERE TWO CAKES, ONE LOOKING BEAUTIFUL, AND THE NEXT WITH A HUGE HOLE. I WAS SO UPSET THEN MY MOM WAS LIKE 'wait, hold on I have an idea' AND SHE GRABBED A HUGE PEEP AND PLACED IT IN THE WHOLE WHERE IT FIT PERFECTLY BUT THE BETRAYAl WAS STILL THERE.

Keith: Anyway, that's why I don't like baking or my sister.

Hunk: *hugging him* I'm so sorry.

****

Pidge: Hey, do you remember that time you broke a food processor by making banana ice-cream?

Matt: Stop this.

Pidge: Or that time you baked cookies on a non-stick pan and dad had to take the pan of cookies outside after they were done cooking and cleaned it off with a hose.

Matt: Ugh, don't remind me.

Pidge: Or that time when you-

Matt: okAY I GET IT I CAN'T COOK.

Matt: *stomps away*

Pidge: *Internally* Blackmail, bitch. 

****

Keith: So, I've decided that you're fifteen turning fifteen.

Pidge: What?

Lance: *singing* You are fifteen going on fifteen you will be fifteen foreeeeever.

Pidge: What is wrong with you?

****

Keith: *draping himself over Lance* THE MUSICALS HAVE CONSUMED ME.

Lance: *patting Keith's back* I know, buddy. I know. Let it out.

Keith: *screams*