Klance oneshots

it's a spideypool AU

Warning: physical fighting, implied homophobia, the 'f' word (not 'fuck' if you get my drift)

Because our dear author here has issues and he might have been reading a lot of fanfiction. Also, isn't this picture cute? I love it so much. Look at my skin! It's so clear and smooth and perfect.

Keith looks okay, too, I guess.

I know what you're thinking. 

"Wow! Who on earth could have such a heavenly voice?" 

hA! Jokes on you sweetheart because this is just simply a writing of fanfiction so you're just imagining things.

Sucker.

Anyway, introductions! The name's Lance. Or, Deadpool. Rhymes with no school. Too-cool-ain't-no-fool and I'm-bi-as-fuck...ool. Moving on (if you get the refrence, I love you).

It's just a regular day at school, right? Everything is all peachy-keen and everyone is absolutely in love with me. 

"Outta the way you gangly uncoordinated bitch," Sendak hisses in my ear. 

Ahh, you gotta love high school. 

I run over to Keith (AKA Spiderman but shh don't tell anyone, sweetheart) and wrap my arm around his shoulders. He doesn't even flinch. He just keeps reading some gay fanfiction on his phone.

"What sweet ship you reading about?" I ask him. He glares at me. 

"I'm not. I'm reading about the feud between Hamilton and Jefferson," he said. I pull finger guns at him. 

"Ah, Jamilton. I gotcha," I say with a wink and a smirk. He pushes me off his shoulder and continues walking to his destination. I groan and follow him. 

"So... are you up for some late night patrolling later?" I ask him. He sighs and lowers his phone. 

"I don't know, Lance. I have a lot of school to catch up on and I'm falling way behind," he tells me. 

"Okay... what if you brought some homework with you?" I suggest. 

"Are you kidding me?" 

"Do I ever?" I challenge. 

"All the time."

I gotta admit, my sweethearts. That stung a bit. HOwEvEr, I will not let his pessimism stop me. 

"Pleeeeeeeeeeease?" I ask him as I give him my best puppy eyes (hard to resist if I might add). 

"No, Lance. Not tonight," Keith said. I dramatically sniffed, like I was about to cry. He looks me up and down. 
"Don't," he demanded. I will some tears to start forming in my eyes.

"Lance, I'm serious! Don't!" He pleads. I unconvincingly frown as tears start streaming down my face.
"Lance! You're making me feel bad, stop this at once!" 

"I- I can't! You *hic* broke my heARt, KeItH!" I dramatically say. Keith groans. 

"Okay, I'll go with you!" He says. I stop 'crying' and raise my arms in the air in a triumphant way. 

"yeASH!" I yell. 

"For an hour," he quickly adds. I lower my arms. 

"Awww, man!" I complain. 

I'm not going to push him, though. I'm not that low, sweethearts. I will never make him do anything he doesn't want to (I know what you're about to write and I'm here to tell you to shut your fuck because I haven't gone patrolling with him for weeks and I'm lonely).