Lance: You are a beautiful human being please know that
Keith: Lance, you're too sweet! Shut the duck up!
Keith: *fuck
Pidge: Couldn't you guys at least do this in a private text?
Lance: Um, this is an 'A' 'B' conversation, so if you could just 'C' your way out, that'd be great
Shiro: Pidge, where are you? It's dinner time.
Pidge: I'm doing Lauren
Shiro: Who's Lauren?
Shiro: If she's your girlfriend, she can come to dinner too
Pidge: Shiro, I meant laundry! I'm not a lesbian.
Shiro: That's a shame. Men are dicks. Now come eat
Matt: Hey, I just saw you on tv!
Shiro: What
Matt: Yeah, the channel was 'Animal Planet'
Shiro: I hate you
Matt: Then why can I hear you laughing through the wall?
Shiro: It's an allergic reaction to my blankets
Keith: Would you like to be the sun in my life?
Lotor: Darling, I never knew you felt this way! Of course!
Keith: Good, then stay 92,935,700 miles away from me and my boyfriend :)
Matt: What would you do if you got into my bed?
Shiro: Is it comfortable?
Matt: Yeah.
Shiro: I'd sleep.
Pidge: Heyy, so I got some news about you in your crush...
Matt: Do enlighten me
Pidge: I think he likes you back
Pidge: Matt?
Pidge: Hello?
Pidge: Are you there?
Matt: Sorry, I was just doing a victory dance
Lance: Hey, I need some help with a math problem.
Keith: What? Why we're in space.
Lance: Just help
Keith: Okay, okay. What's up?
Lance: How do you simplify 2i<6u
Keith: i<3u
Lance: Aw, I <3 u too!!!
Keith: Okay, that was smooth
Matt: Lance, help
Lance: What's up my dude
Matt: I need some help flirting with Shiro, but I don't know any pickup lines
Lance: You have come to the right place my dude
Matt: Are you a magician? Because every time you walk into the room, everyone else disappears.
Matt: Are you a fruit, because honeydew you know how amazing you are?
Matt: You're so amazing that I forgot my pickup line
Matt: Are you Netflix? 'Cuz I could watch you for hours.
Matt: I was so content with my life and one day I asked myself, what could be better than this? Then you showed up
Shiro: Are you a magician? Because abraca-dayum
Shiro: You're so hot, the devil would sweat
Shiro: I'm no organ donor, but I'd be happy to give you my heart
Shiro: If stars would fall every time I would think of you, the sky would have one less star because I never stop thinking about you
Shiro: Are you my phone charger? Because without you, I'd die.
Matt: Will you go out on a date with me?
Matt: Rejection can lead to emotional stress for both parties involved and emotional stress can lead to physical complications such as headaches, ulcers, cancerous tumors, and even death! So for my health and yours, JUST SAY YES!
Shiro: Yes, that's a great idea.
Shiro: THE PICKUP LINES WORKED
Lance: ANYTHING FOR MY DAD I GOT CHU
Matt: THE PICKUP LINES WORKED
Lance: ANYTHING FOR MY FRIEND I GOT CHU
Lance: I can not believe I helped set Matt and Shiro up with my bad pickup lines
Keith: What?
Lance: Yeah! They needed some pickup lines to impress the other and they came to me.
Keith: Why?
Lance: Because it's pretty obvious that I have the best pickup lines
Keith: Oh really?
Keith: Is there a rainbow today? Because I just found the treasure I've been searching for, plus I'm super gay!
Lance: Okay, that was pretty good
A-yo! Sorry if those pickup lines were super cringey, I have so many. If you ever need a bad pickup line, call me up.
*cough* shameless self-promo: I have a tumblr account 'thereisnowinning' and if you guys want to send some random questions and shit like that feel free to check it out *cough*
Stay awesome fabulous t-rexs!
YOU ARE READING
Klance oneshots
FanfictionHey. This is a bunch of Klance oneshots because why not? I mean, they're adorable! They're practically canon! So yeah. Yay. Edit: okay so fair warning!!! These are (unsurprisingly) unedited and the first few stories are a little bit cringy, but that...
