Ask Fictional Characters

The Doctor

Warning: Spoilers...

To: The Doctor

Question from The Spark: How do you do it? How do you bear the loneliness and pain from all of your losses, from all of your unloved foes yet they are a part of you. Your people, your friends, your family. They leave, or forget, or sometimes passes away. How do you move on to your future and be an optimist about so many things and try and try to keep people alive?

The Doctor: The answer is...I dont. I dont bear the loneliness. It's a burden---It's a scar in me, both my hearts burned and ripped through time and space because of the losses of my companions and people. And sometimes, when I move on to the future, I forget, I forget the bad times and try to move on my life. But I dont want to forget, vice versa, I want to. It's like fear, forget everything and run or face everything and rise. That's how I do it.

I try very hard to keep people of many different species especially earth, alive. Because I dont want anymore deaths, but that's how the universe goes on. Mostly earth, because I think of them as my people like I am not lonely anymore. The Doctor and his people are back. But that's a lie, I just like to think of it. They are born, they live, they die. *sigh* If you ask me, what is the most painful death I've seen. It would be impossible to answer. 

Yes, I do want to die. To be with the people I love or see. I do know how it feels to die, but it only happens for a very short and limited time, about two seconds of my regeneration process. 

My companions, family, friends die and I die every single part of me...emotionally. That's the burden of a timelord. I watch them die, or forget or disappear right before my eyes. I dont want them to go. 

But we all have a purpose to die, to forget, to leave. For peace, finished business, but I live to save, they die to save. To be honest, that purpose sometimes sucks because I sometimes see the universe unfair. 

Susan: Grandfather...

Rose: I love you

Martha: I will see you soon

Donna: I dont want to forget

River Song: Spoilers

Amelia: Raggady man, Goodnight

Clara: Please dont go.

The Doctor: They are illusions, sometimes I see them like they are here, but they are not. And they look at me before I die like how I look at them when they are dying. Yes, I am a time traveler and I can rewrite time but, it's complicated. But what they all have in common, is that, I grab their hand and whisper, "Run"

I watch them stop while I continue, and it breaks me. But that never stopped me saving millions.

******

I though of Eleven saying this, it just seemed right because he's the Doctor with the words. I just finished watching Silence in the Library and The Forest of the Dead. I cried in the end.