Vanitas × Noé

Vanitas is being irritating (as usual)

Vanitas flopped onto the ground and groaned. He had his arms and legs splayed out and was glaring up at the ceiling. He was muttering various things under his breathe including some obscene language.

"What's wrong?" Noé sighed, closing his book. Noé was sitting comfortably on a couch while Vanitas was laying on the carpet dramatically.

"Everything," Vanitas banged his head on the ground a few times in frustration.

"Please be more specific."

"Charlatan! The curse bearers! I can't figure out what's going on!" Vanitas tore at his hair a bit, "I just can't connect the pieces! It's frustrating!"

"Calm down," Noé sighed and reopened his book.

"Don't undermine me! This is serious!" Vanitas sat up and glared.

"Look, it's alright if you don't understand yet. At least you're trying to solve this mystery, you'll get it eventually," Noé sighed.

"Stop sighing! If you sigh one more time I'll snap your neck!"

"Can you even reach my neck?" Noé murmured turning a page in his book.

"Are you calling me short?" Vanitas leapt up from the ground and glared down at Noé.

Noé looked up from where he was sitting and met Vanitas' gaze. Then without a word he placed his book down beside him and stood up. Noé looked down at Vanitas pointedly. Vanitas had to tilt his head up at a steep angle since Noé had stood up right in front of him.

"For God's sake," the human growled.

Noé tilted his head curiously as a thought occurred to him. The vampire brought one of his hands up to measure where the top of Vanitas' head sat. The human was not very happy about this.

"What are you doing?" Vanitas slapped Noé's hand away.

"You're just so tiny! You only reach up to around here!" Noé indicated his waist height.

"Don't exaggerate! I'm not even below average height! You're just freakishly tall!"

"Whatever you say... tiny."

"That's it!" Vanitas screeched.

He yanked Noé forward suddenly and while the taller man was off balance and stumbling forward kicked him in the back of the knee. Noé tumbled forward onto the ground and without missing a beat Vanitas leapt on top of him, pinning him to the ground.

"Look who's shorter now!" Vanitas cackled.

"Still you. Being on the ground doesn't mean I'm shorter," Noé frowned looking up at Vanitas.

"From my perspective it does," Vanitas smirked. "And look!" Vanitas moved one of his hands to Noé's neck, "I can reach your neck and strangle you."

Noé sighed and immediately Vanitas tightened the hand on his neck, "I told you that if you sigh one more time then I would snap your neck."

"That's enough Vanitas, I'm tired of this. Just let me continue reading," Noé looked at Vanitas in exasperation.
"Oh Ho Ho, I don't think so. Not until I say you can," Vanitas' lips curled upwards.

Noé, who had had quite enough of this nonsense did what he thought he should have done from the beginning.  Noé pushed Vanitas off of him and flipped their positions. Vanitas' look of shock as he did so was amusing and almost made him laugh.

"That's just not fair, vampires have an advantage when it comes to strength!" Vanitas groaned.

"Well that might be true but even for a human you're weak."

"What?" Vanitas narrowed his eyes.

"Is this new information to you?" Noé tilted his head.

"SHUT UP!"

"Sorry, sorry," Noé stood up and offered his hand to Vanitas, "are you feeling any better now?"

"No," Vanitas took Noé's hand and pulled himself up, "thanks for asking anyway."

"Is there anything I can do to help? " Noé furrowed his brows.

Vanitas chuckled, "anything to help me feel less irritated about charlatan? Not really, but you could distract me for a while."

"Distract you?"

"Yes. Why don't you read me something from your book," Vanitas pointed to the book that lay abandoned on the couch.

"Alright..." Noé walked over to the couch, sat down and opened the book. Vanitas joined him on the couch, laying down and placing his head in Noé's lap.

"Vanitas?" Noé looked confused.

"Does this make you uncomfortable? Please do your best to ignore me."

Noé held back the sigh that threatened to escape his lips and started to read aloud. It wasn't anything interesting. The book was about the history of Paris. Of course, it was a censored version that removed all mention of vampires. Noé found it fascinating but Vanitas just liked the sound of Noé's voice.

They stayed on the couch together until Noé got tired. Vanitas made a comment about sleep being for the weak before shooing the vampire away. Noé left the book in case Vanitas wanted to read more but he didn't. Vanitas hadn't been listening for the contents of the book and he was content after listening to Noé.