Vanitas × Noé

Kissing

The first time Vanitas and Noé kissed it was unplanned and awkward. It was also Noé's first kiss, surprising given he had no qualms about getting intimate with other people particularly when sucking blood. The two of them had known each other for a while and been steadily growing closer. It was night time and they were sitting together on the roof of their building. They'd been talking for hours and suddenly Noé had blurted out 'Can I kiss you?' Vanitas had agreed, closing his eyes and allowing Noé to take the lead. Vanitas wasn't sure why he agreed, he hadn't been planning to ever foster anything romantic between himself and Noé. Noé had leaned in and gave him a peck on the lips. Barely touching him for a second.

Neither Vanitas nor Noé were particularly satisfied with it. No great emotion welled up in either of them. Neither happiness nor disgust seemed an appropriate reaction. They could simply feel the slight lingering press of the other's lips. Vanitas turned away, not meeting Noé's eyes, embarrassed by his lack of reaction or interest in the kiss. They started talking again and the kiss was mostly forgotten.

The next kiss happened a few days later. Noé kissed Vanitas's cheek quickly and although again neither felt much reaction it seemed less awkward. Afterwards Vanitas turned his head, a silent invitation for Noé to kiss his lips again. Noé obliged but it felt nearly the same as the first kiss. Empty, boring, trite. An intimate show of affection that was unnecessary and much less fun than a hug. It simply didn't mean anything and was not nearly as important as people tend to make kissing out to be.

Both wondered if there was something wrong with them. Particularly Vanitas. He was unsure if Noé felt similarly dissatisfied and ultimately assumed he didn't because he initiated all the kisses. Vanitas thought that maybe it was being kissed that he disliked, not the act itself. And yet, he had no courage and no wish to lean in first especially after the failure of the previous ones.

Noé wondered if Vanitas even reciprocated his feelings at all. While he had consented to being kissed, Vanitas had let Noé initiate contact. It could have been that Vanitas just wasn't physically affectionate but that didn't seem right. He seemed very willing to throw himself at Jeanne in the past. Noé considered that maybe he was kissing wrong or that he should let Vanitas lead instead. Vanitas did always seem to like control.

When they were alone together the kisses hung over their heads. Both wanted to either talk about it or try again but there was a wall of insecurities stopping either from directly addressing the issue. In the end it took outside interference for them to move forward.

"What's with you two?" Dante asked in the middle of providing Vanitas and Noé with information. "You're acting colder towards each other than on the airship."

"You need your eyes checked Baldy? We've never been anything but cold. Now, give me what I pay you for."

"No, no, no. Hang on. Are you guys fighting? What happened? It must be really bad since you were willing to let Noé off the hook when he asked for your blood that one time."

"Why do you look so happy about this, bastard?"

"Come on, quack. It's kind of funny that despite being so close you two are obviously dancing around some topic or another. Confirms you haven't gone completely soft on him yet."

"Shut the hell up and just do your job."

Dante dropped the topic but even his small intervention had pushed it to the forefront of Noé and Vanitas's minds. To the point where it couldn't be ignored. So, the next time they were alone together in their hotel room Vanitas sat down heavily on his bed and started the dreaded conversation.

"Noé, I do like you but all of our kisses up to this point have been bad. I did not enjoy them and while I don't dislike physical affection or the idea of kissing you..." Vanitas shrugged helplessly.

"I didn't like the kisses either."

"You didn't?"

Noé gave Vanitas a half-smile, "I'm not sure why. Being around you is great, when you're not being a di-"

"Noé," Vanitas warned.

"I like being around you. I am romantically interested in you. Most forms of physical affection are fine. But we haven't had much success with kissing."

"Should we give up then? Complicating our relationship isn't a good idea anyway," Vanitas flopped backwards on his bed.

"I don't want to give up. Vanitas, I want to try kissing more times and find out if anything works for us. If not, I still want to try and be with you in ways that we are comfortable with."

"I guess if we're both open about when we're not enjoying it then it will be easier to work out how to do better."

"Exactly. So, are you willing to let me... try again... now?"

"Sure, why not?"

Vanitas sat back up on his bed and leaned up as Noé bent down to his level. Their lips met for longer than the last few, though it was still short and uneventful. Vanitas broke away first, laughing.

"That one wasn't much better."

Noé suppressed his own giggling, "I guess we aren't very good at this."

"One step at a time, mon chéri. Whether we get the hang of it or not, I want to be by your side."

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You're probably thinking that this is a bit weird. And you're right because  it's based on my own dislike of my first few kisses. Tbh I think I'm not big on kissing (specifically when I'm involved). So this was me, getting my feelings out through the boys. But I'm sure neither of them would ever have this particular problem. And I thought I'd leave it as hopeful, like they're just finding what works for them and that they probably will enjoy it in the future. Not that they just hate kissing in general.