Vanitas × Noé

Simple

Vanitas rubbed his forehead as he considered his words to Jeanne. He never had been good at reassuring people but half of what he said were words stolen from Noé! God, how soft was he getting if he had started talking like Noé? What was he even comforting Jeanne for in the first place?

Jeanne could handle herself. If she wanted to give up, let her! One less vampire in the way of finishing the damn business in Gévaudan and going home. First he'd agreed to let Noé convince him to treat Chloé and Jean-jacques and now this. He really wasn't cut out for having people- vampires- rely on him.

Chloé might die, hell everything pointed towards that being the most likely outcome. Vanitas wasn't an optimist, he inched closer to pessimism than realism if he were being completely fair. Yet here he was, promising to save a vampire he didn't even particularly care for. It would have been a stupid enough promise without more chasseurs showing up. Astolfo was a large enough problem on his own.

The business with Naenia/Faustina only made things that much worse. When Naenia had reverted back to a shadow he had been shown some things he didn't want to think about. He wasn't even a vampire, he had no true name to steal, so it was pointless to screw with him by showing him visions. He would have died because of that vision if Noé hadn't caught him. Ugh, Noé.

They had reached a turning point in their relationship way back in the catacombs and he could sense another turning point now, in Gévaudan. The catacombs was where Noé said those words he stole and gave to Jeanne.

"We can. Together."

"Not yet."

"We can win this."

Noé's sentimental words from the catacombs came back to him as he stared at Jeanne. Before he knew it he was incorporating those words... those feelings into what he said. His mouth ran off on its own and for just a moment Vanitas allowed himself to speak to Jeanne. No condescension, no tricks and no masking his own self-loathing. Just speaking.

"Not yet. Chloé D'apchier can still be saved. If it's us... we can save her."

The words floated through his head on a loop. Vanitas was still unsure what he meant by us. Did he mean Jeanne and himself? Or maybe, thinking back to what inspired those words, did he mean Noé and himself? Either way was just as bad and still uncomfortably hopeful. At the very least he turned back around to treating Jeanne as normal not longer after. His particular brand of comfort had its uses and Jeanne was one of the few people it could help.

Promising to kill her, saying he wouldn't die, that may yet turn out to be an empty promise too. At least it was one made thinking like himself and not like Noé though. Jeanne had been so desperate for him to help... to help Chloé that, well, even after Vanitas announced his intent to kill her they had shared a surprisingly sincere moment. Sincere for them anyway.

Even if Vanitas reverted back to his usual flamboyant dramatisation there had really been a shift in how he treated Jeanne. Dealing with changing relationships with Noé and Jeanne? At the same time? Vanitas could throw up just thinking about it. Of all the vampires he knew Dominique and Luca were the ones he most wanted to see currently. At least he knew where he stood with them. Mutual loathing.

Sometimes he wished he never asked Noé to join him, dealing with an Archiviste was always going to be troublesome. But Noé disliked him right off the bat, how could he not start to like the vampire? Anyone who hated him so quickly obviously had good taste. In people at least. He couldn't speak for Noé's taste in food, or pets, or anything else really.

Putting aside thoughts about Jeanne and Noé would be the best thing for the moment. Focusing all his energy on his job should help. Except this job had become intrinsically tangled with both the vampires. Jeanne had a personal connection to Chloé and Noé had become friends with the beast. Why did everything have to be so difficult? For now the book could be his priority. Not Chloé, not Jean-jacques, not Jeanne and not Noé.

He could deal with them after he had the book. It wasn't as though he could help any of them without it anyway. But he would have to face everything sooner or later. He loved Jeanne, in his own way, and could see that she had at least gained some small amount of affection for him. Vanitas wondered if that would change things and if he would eventually stop loving her if she got too close. He didn't know how he felt about Noé. There was never enough time to work it out.

Vanitas wished something in his life could be simple but at the same time he didn't. Nothing had ever been simple for him and wasn't that the way he liked it? Chaos fit him, it allowed him to work with freedom, he couldn't be a vampire doctor without the chaos. Sometimes it got to be too much, even for him. His life was dangerous and it never slowed down, leaping from one tragedy to the next whether or not he was directly hurt by it.

If just one thing could be constant or make sense it would go a long way to improving his mental health. He wished Noé and Jeanne would stay in their lanes but he was also interested to see how things would play out. Vanitas always was contradictory. A character flaw he exacerbated intentionally more often than not. Even as he wished there could be some semblance of order in his personal relationships Vanitas couldn't help but be swept along as they changed. Becoming a person more like Noé might lead down a bad path and only time would tell the outcome. But Vanitas always liked gambling with his life so he didn't resist the changes.

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Sorry I ended the chapter badly! I didn't know how to end after I'd said what I wanted to! I hope you enjoyed!

Also, I just convinced one of my friends to read Pandora Hearts!!! I'm so excited to talk to her about it! And after she finishes it I'm dragging her into Vanitas hell as well! Finally, I'll have a friend to talk to about one of my favourite manga series of all time! I am over the moon! Just, ahhhhhh!!!! Sorry, I'm done screaming now.