"I got the next load of laundry started and everything from the hospital put-what's wrong?"
Mike entered the nursery seeing his wife holding their newborn son and rocking him back and forth trying to feed him and crying.
"He's not latching good. It hurts." Carrie muttered. She looked up at him and he noticed the glistening wet tears threatening to fall. "I don't know what I'm doing."
"What can I do?" He entered the room, sitting down in the rocking chair beside her.
"Unless you can grow some boobs and feed him yourself, nothing." She snapped.
"I'm sorry. Do you want me to go?" She seemed to be in a terrible mood and Mike didn't want to say anything else to make it worse. When Carrie didn't respond immediately, Mike stood up.
"No. I'm sorry. Please don't go." He heard her say as he began to walk out. He slid the rocking chair over closer to her and sat back down. "I didn't mean to snap at you."
"It's okay." He placed his hand on hers that was resting on the armrest of the rocking chair. "I'm sorry, I wish I could help you."
"Everything hurts so freaking much. I didn't expect it to be this bad. Every time I breathe, my scar hurts even worse. It took me five minutes just to find a position to feed him that didn't feel like knives stabbing me." Carrie said, leaning her head back and sighing.
"Are you keeping up with your pain meds?" Mike asked, rubbing her hand with his thumb.
"Yeah. I can take more in an hour. It's not doing much though."
"I'm sorry Care." Mike frowned. He hated that there was nothing he could do. He felt guilty that she had to go through everything herself and he couldn't help her. "You know I would take it all away if I could."
"I don't know how we're going to do this Mike. I don't know the first thing about being a mom. I can't even feed my baby without having trouble, how am I supposed to do this?" Tears filled Carrie's eyes as she looked at her husband of four years.
"Don't say that Carrie. Look at me." He stood up, squatting down in front of her chair. "Nobody knows what they're doing when they bring home their first baby. We're in this together. We'll figure it out, I promise. Don't get discouraged, it's only day one."
"I know. It's just hard." She sighed.
"But look." Mike put his hand on his son's small head, lightly running his finger through the small amount of blonde hair on his head. "Look what we're getting out of it. We created this."
He saw a small smile creep onto her face as she looked down at her son.
"It's all worth it isn't it?" Mike said, rubbing her thigh.
Carrie nodded, tears in her eyes. Every time she looked at her son she wanted to cry. She still couldn't believe he was here and that she'd created him.
"Thank you." Carrie whispered, looking up and giving her husband a small smile.
"We can do this Carrie. We're in this together, we can do this." He kissed her lips softly and smiled.
"I love you." Carrie grinned as he pulled away slightly, letting this kiss linger.
"I love you too." He said softly, kissing her forehead and standing up. Isaiah began to cry, signaling that he was finished eating.
Together, they burped him and changed him into clean clothes for bed. Carrie sat back down in the rocking chair, planning to rock him to sleep. She began to sing quietly, rocking gently back and forth in the chair.
Mike sat beside her, watching her sing, her eyes never leaving the little baby in her arms. She was already so good with him, Mike knew she was going to be an amazing mom. He was even more in love with her now than before.
When she was sure he was asleep, Carrie carefully stood up and carried him into their room to place him in the bassinet.
"Goodnight my angel, we love you so much." She whispered, kissing his little forehead.
"You're such a good mom already." Mike placed his hands on her shoulders, gently massaging them. "I love you."
Carrie smiled, turning around to face him. She kissed him softly.
"I love you too."
