"Hey princess."
Mike smiled, seeing his wife's face on the screen. He'd escaped from the boys and FaceTimed his wife, as he always did when he was away.
"Hi." She forced a smile to her face in hopes that Mike wouldn't notice.
"What's wrong? Have you been crying?" Mike immediately knew something was off by her voice. She wasn't her usual bubbly self.
Tears filled Carrie's eyes. She bit her lip to stop herself, but they began to slip down her face.
"I'm sorry." She croaked, her voice barely audible. Mike watched her begin to break down through his phone. He immediately knew what was wrong.
"Dammit." He cursed under his breath, his head falling between his hands. Carrie begin to crumble in front of him, unable to contain her tears any longer.
"I don't understand." She sobbed. "Why does this keep happening?"
"I don't know Carrie." He sighed. No words could stop the hurt in both their hearts. "I don't know."
Carrie sniffled, wiping her face with her thumb. She looked straight into Mike's eyes, the pain evident in both their sad eyes. She didn't know what to do or say.
"I'll be home in two hours. Okay?"
"You don't have to do that." Carrie shook her head. Her voice was shaky.
"Can I call Ivey to come be with you until I get home? I hate the thought of you being alone right now."
Carrie shook her head again. "I'm okay. I'm just gonna go snuggle with Isaiah for a little bit."
Carrie's voice was heartbreaking to Mike. He could feel her pain through the screen.
"Okay. I'll be home before you know it." Mike assured her.
Carrie nodded, another tear slipping down her cheek.
"I love you. I'll be there soon. It's going to be okay."
"I love you too." Carrie whispered, tears sliding from her eyes. She hung up the phone, unable to look at her husband any longer. It hurt too much.
Setting her phone down, Carrie felt the lump in her throat rise. She didn't bother to wipe the tears that fell from her face.
Carrie stood up, gripping the couch as a wave of dizziness washed over her. She squeezed her eyes closed, opening them slowly after a couple seconds.
Slowly, Carrie walked upstairs and down the hall to her son's room. She quietly opened the door, seeing him sleeping peacefully curled under the blankets. She couldn't help but smile.
Carrie slid into his small twin bed beside him, careful not to wake him. Thankfully he was a heavy sleeper. Her arm wrapped around his tiny body as she held him close. Tears began to stream down her face until she couldn't control herself anymore. She was sobbing hysterically.
Why? Why does this keep happening? God, I don't understand. I can't keep going through this. I can't do this again. Please, just make it stop. Either let me have another baby, or make this end. Shut the door and end the pain. I can't go through this again God, please.
Mike entered the house quietly. The downstairs lights had been shut off and the house was silent. He sat his bag down and walked upstairs, entering their son's room. His wife was sound asleep against Isaiah, clutching him tightly. He could see wet tears still glistening on her cheeks. His heart broke at the sight.
Mike knelt down in front of the bed and placed his hand on Carrie's. He brushed the hair off her face with his other hand and her eyes fluttered open.
"Hi sweetheart." Mike smiled softly. He squeezed her hand tightly.
"Hi." She croaked. Her voice was scratchy and hardly made any sound. Mike knew she'd been crying for a long time. Carrie sat up, sliding her arm out from under her son. She kissed his forehead and carefully got up from his bed.
Mike embraced her into his arms. Her body molded into his as she clung to him.
"Can we stay in here for a little bit?" Carrie's voice cracked as she managed to get sound out. "I just like to be close to Isaiah and-"
Mike took her hand and guided her over to his bed. They sat down on the floor in front of it, their backs against his bed. They cupped each other's hands and held them tight.
Together, through their tears, they prayed. They prayed harder than they'd ever prayed before, giving their whole heart up to God.
They cried over their son. They cried over the now four children they'd lost. They cried in fear of never having anymore kids, and they cried in pain and heartbreak.
——
Two days later, Carrie laid on the hard exam table as her doctor covered her stomach with the familiar blue gel. She sat in the white sterile room, a room that used to be filled with joy. The room that had once brought happiness and life had turned to heartbreak and anger.
Carrie gripped Mike's hand tightly. She stared up at the tile ceiling, unable to look at the monitor beside her. She anxiously waited for the dreaded words to come out of Dr. Ervins's mouth.
The couple held their breath as the monitor lit up, picking up the image projected through the device.
A loud thumping sound began to echo through the room. Carrie turned towards the monitor, confused by the alarming sound.
"What's that noise?"
"That's your baby's heartbeat." A large smile spread across Dr. Ervin's face.
"What?" Carrie sat up, suddenly becoming more alert.
"Everything looks great Carrie." Dr. Ervin smiled. "Everything is great."
Carrie froze, her hand covering her mouth in shock. Immediately, big wet tears filled her eyes.
"You mean?" Carrie squeaked, her high pitched voice catching in her throat as she tried to understand what the woman was saying.
"You're right on track to have a healthy baby in January. It must have just been a false alarm."
"Oh my god." Carrie couldn't help but cry. She let her head fall into her hands as she lost it completely. She tried to pull herself together, remembering she was in a doctors office, but she couldn't stop crying. For the first time, she was crying tears of happiness in the sterile white room.
They were finally going to have another baby.
God had heard her prayers.
