Some Scars Never Fade

Chapter Seventeen (R)

*Chris’s Point of View*

I woke up in the morning groggy and disoriented. I was tired.

Half the night I’d spent tossing and turning with nightmares about dad hurting Jake while he was over one day. Then, for some strange reason, Dylan came into the dream and dad was hurting him too.

All in all, it was terrible. That dream snapped into a dream where some one came into my room and slept with me, calming the nightmares, but when I woke up, I was alone.

It must’ve been a dream.

Stretching, I remembered the reason my dreams had been unpleasant.

I’d fallen asleep worrying about Dylan and pondering what he’d said.

‘Do you like him hurting you? Huh? Do you have some strange desire for pain?’

 

Do I? Maybe.

‘Or do you think it makes you stronger?’

Of course it did.

‘This is a damn sure sign of love. Should I cut you to show you how much I love you? Would you like that? Would that pain prove to you that I care about you? Maybe I should go get the others to do it, too, that way you can feel loved.’

 

Maybe I would like that. Pain makes you stronger, and pain when you deserve it is- well, just that. If you deserve pain, there’s nothing else to it, is there?

Would I like that? Would I enjoy pain? Maybe. Pain was always a funny thing to me when I fought. Why not now? Why not all the time?

It was twisted. Pain for your opponent was always thought as a good thing, but after they heal from it, it made them stronger, and more attuned to whatever caused it. Pain helped them. Why couldn’t it help me?

These thoughts chastised my mind all day, no matter how hard I tried to nip them and toss them out.

Because of this, the day passed in a blur and afterschool, I decided to go straight to the rings.

“Hey Jadyn,” I said, stopping beside his locker.

He grinned at me. “Ready to win tonight?” he asked. “You know it!” I told him, “Want to head over there now and check out some future competition? I have to check the board for the fights I have coming up; I want to spend some time with Jake.”

That wasn’t a total lie.

“Sure,” he grinned. We loaded into Jadyn’s ride (he borrowed it from a friend) and we headed to Nathan’s place to change.

I pulled on a red hoodie and black boxing shorts that had a red stripe down the side. After applying my fighting gloves and my new gray sneakers, we headed off.