Some Scars Never Fade

Chapter Nineteen (T)

*Chris’s Point of View*

I had another nightmare. In it, Dylan was staring at me with a broken look in his eyes.

His lips weren’t moving but I could hear his voice.

Do you like him hurting you?

 

I couldn’t answer; I couldn’t even move. I was petrified.

Do you think it makes you stronger?

 

Now his lips moved. “Because it makes me weaker,” he said quietly, his voice full of pain.

Do you have some strange desire for pain?

 

“I can cut you too, you know,” he told me, his voice more quiet than a whisper.

Should I cut you to show you how much I love you? Would you like that? Would that pain prove to you that I care about you? Maybe I should go get the others to do it, too, that way you can feel loved.

 

Suddenly, he was in front of me in a flash, his hand a vice grip around my wrist.

“I can make you feel much loved,” he told me.

I finally found my voice. “What do you mean?” I asked, my voice quiet but at the same time, loud.

“You’ll see,” he told me, “If pain is what you desire, I am your perfect match.” He pulled a knife from behind him.

“I don’t understand. Dylan? What are you doing?” I asked as he pressed the knife against his stomach.

“This is your fault,” he said, sorrow flashing in his face. He slashed a cut across his stomach.

“Dylan! Dylan! Don’t move, I’ll stop the bleeding,” I said, panic in my voice.  He let me go to drop to my knees as I ripped the rest of his shirt open.

I pressed the shirt against the wound, but it wasn’t bleeding anymore.

Suddenly a dull light flickered from somewhere and I could see him. His skin. The scars. They were everywhere.

“What happened?” I asked him, the horror of this eating away at me.

He grabbed my wrist again and I stood from the ground in a daze. “You,” he said, pressing the knife a few inches up from his wrist.

“Me?” I asked, my voice barely audible, “I don’t understand.”

“Your desire for pain. You let him hurt you. Why can’t I hurt? If you deserve pain, I deserve pain,” he said, pressing the blade harder against his skin.