The Suicide Girl [Completed]

Chapter 40: Miracles Don't Exist

Go back.

You can't leave the world just yet.

I felt my legs burning with a shattering pain. I couldn't feel anything: muscles, hands, arms, legs— absolutely nothing could move. I felt the warm sun on my face, almost wanting to slap myself to move. Unfortunately, I couldn't. Does this mean.. I somehow made it out alive...? I didn't have time to react because of how sore I felt. In the distance, there was a rumbling noise. I couldn't comprehend what it was, but it sounded like a four-wheeled vehicle driving past the remains of the building. My eyes glanced around, seeing the rocks on top of my body. Either the building had turned to ashes or became rubble.

The burning sensation in my muscles didn't stop me from trying to get up. Reluctantly, I pulled myself up, my hands on the ground to push me to my knees. I underestimated my strength at that time, because I instead pushed myself to the ground. I stood up, trying to ignore the injuries on my arms and legs. That's not possible. I'm supposed to be dead. How can I be alive at this point? I looked around and found rubble scattered around me. It seemed as if the weapons that hung on the ceiling had disappeared.

I dusted the crumbs of rocks off of my legs. What time is it anyway? I groaned when the burning had disappeared and replaced with a stinging feeling. I looked at the sky. It was completely cloudless, as expected of Arizona and its burning heat. The sun was at the horizon, either setting or rising; I wasn't sure which. My sense of direction had seemed to disappear, due to the explosion. Either it's sunset or sunrise, but I'm leaning to sunset. My eyes widened when I was struck with a realization.

Where's Tristan?

My mind began buzzing like crazy, and I began digging beneath the pile of rubble beside me. Something seemed to be underneath it, and I hoped it wasn't Tristan. At the same time, I hoped it was. I obviously wanted him to be alive, but I did not want him suffocate within the rocks. Please be here, Tristan! Please be here! I want to believe in miracles..! My hands began hurting when I felt small pebbles jabbing my fingers. I accidentally slit my finger on a blade and hoped to the gods above that Tristan would be fine and breathing underneath.

Please don't be dead, Tristan.

I didn't even notice the tears falling onto my jeans as I tossed rocks and pieces of the concrete walls to the other side, desperate to find his body. Huh. I didn't think I'd have enough tears to cry again, my self consciousness thought. Suddenly, I felt something soft underneath my fingers. A hand. My eyes widened and with more hope in my system, I began to get to work. Ignoring the stinging and burning in my muscles, I tried to stay awake to dig up what I had found. Once only mere pebbles remained, I wiped away the tears in my stinging eyes.

At that moment, I wish I didn't.

A scream escaped my mouth as I threw myself back, landing on the floor with my arms scraping the ground. I felt my throat clenching, closing in on itself. Consciously, my hands reached for my mouth, trying not to hurl.

Tristan..?

It was surely a body. No, it was definitely a body. It was Tristan, but I couldn't believe what I saw. Scratch that— I didn't want to believe what I saw. Tristan's body.. was impaled with a series of weapons. A spear so deeply skewed through his chest, only piercing a lung instead of his heart, and knives and daggers, along with smaller weapons, were through his legs and arms.

My eyes watered again, and I crawled over to the body. My hand grasped the handle of the spear, but I couldn't pull it out. I would've pulled it out, but my will to see blood vanished. I put my hands down on my knees, my shoulders closing in on my torso. My jaw clenched, and I felt tears streaming down my face. He's dead. Tristan is dead. I let out a small whimper, holding in a sob that would most likely make me collapse. With tears blurring my vision, I mustered all I could before falling to the ground, crying with all my heart pouring into the tears.

Miracles don't exist.

Tristan Tanner is dead.

I heard a revving behind me and recognized it as a Jeep rolling up. I pushed myself up weakly and looked over my shoulder, my tears blurring my vision just slightly as my body trembled with sobs. A middle-aged woman stood behind me, her own eyes full of tears. Her hair had been pulled up into a messy bun of blonde, and her eyes were a bright emerald green, only sparkling even more with the glistening tears layering her eyes. Sparkling green eyes... Her hands were clenched into fists with her arms at her sides, and she swallowed down the lump in her throat.

Those eyes.. she must be Tristan's—

"You're Cheryl, right?" Her voice was like a beautiful symphony. It only sounded off-tune because of the sobs she tried to hold in. I nodded with my head sizzling. She opened her arms and said with her voice trembling, "Come here.."

Never in my life have I ever needed a hug this much.

My arms pushed me up, and as tears welled up in my eyes, I felt my legs running into her arms. As soon as she hugged me, we both began crying. A minute later, we had fallen to the ground, and I could feel her heart beating against my own. I've never seen her before, but she feels like home more than anything right now. I felt my tears gathering onto the sleeve of her shoulder. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw U.S. soldiers putting Tristan on the cheap blanket they had. One of them pulled out the spear quickly, putting a napkin over the blood to block it.

"We're going to be okay," Miss Tanner whispered in my ear, patting my back. It seemed as if she was trying to reassure herself as well. "We're going to be fine, Little Miss."

Like a never ending cycle, I hugged her tightly, once again ignoring the pain in my heart. It disappeared as love seemed to fill its empty void.