The Suicide Girl [Completed]

Chapter 41: Unlucky

"Did you sleep well, Little Miss?" Miss Tanner asked me.

My cheeks flushed an embarrassing red, and I sat up. "How did you know.. I was awake?" I asked quietly.

A week passed.

Today, Miss Tanner and I had an appointment with one of the doctors at the hospital. She had invited me to sleep over because she didn't want me to be alone. When we were in Arizona, the soldiers helped us into the truck, letting us cry to our hearts' content. That night, I couldn't feel my eyes as I watched the soldiers strolling Tristan's dead body into the hospital. It's already too late to save him, I thought. At that time, I didn't say that out loud. Miss Tanner had been sitting next to me, and I didn't want her to feel hurt.

Miss Tanner smiled sadly, "I have the attribute of Enhancement. I can enhance my senses, to the extent of a wolf's ability."

I nodded but didn't say anything. My hands clutched the blankets as I sat on the couch. I can't feel my eyes yet. They still kind of sting from crying myself to sleep last night. Ironic, wasn't it? I had hated him just a few months ago. But, I guess, deep down inside of me, I couldn't deny the fact that he meant more than the world to me. I kicked my legs off the couch and stood up, pulling the flannel up my shoulder. I had slept in some sweatpants and a t-shirt. Miss Tanner said I could wear Tristan's flannel, because he— never mind.

I walked into the kitchen and sat down on the dining table. Miss Tanner gave me a gentle smile, and I tried to ignore the patch on her cheek. "Would you like pancakes or bacon and eggs for breakfast?"

I looked up and tried to smile back. I found that I couldn't even move the corners of my mouth. "Bacon and eggs.." I murmured quietly.

She nodded.

It had been like this for the past week— staying home to recover from emotional trauma. I wasn't allowed to go to school and had to wait a few more days, until all the bruises and wounds would heal properly. That would be impossible. The pain in my heart felt as if it would never recover. I had only snapped out of my daze when Miss Tanner had placed a plate of bacon and eggs in front of me.

"There you go," she said. Her hands were being wiped with a towel. She didn't seem to notice my eyes widening as I looked at the plate. "You can go ahead and eat that. We'll change our bandages and then head out to the hospital after you dress up." I didn't reply, and she looked down at me. "Cheryl..?"

Miss Tanner pulled back my side bangs behind me ear, and her eyes widened. I was looking at the plate of food with tears streaming down my face. His mother taught him how to cook. The first meal he cooked for me was bacon and eggs. My hands clenched into fists in my lap, and I shook my head, my tears flying to the floor. Miss Tanner pulled out my chair with strength I never expected and helped me to my feet, hugging me tightly.

"You two must've been so close," she whispered. Her hand stroked my hair, avoiding the bandages on my head. "But we have to stay strong for Tristan, alright?" She moved back and held my shoulders. I looked up at her and saw the same galaxies in her green eyes. She smiled, and a tear streamed down her left cheek. "We wouldn't want him to be watching the girl he loves break down right before his eyes, would we Little Miss?"

I shook my head, and she hugged me again.

I've never felt so weak in my life.

Useless.

Undeserving.

Unlucky.

~~~

I walked out of Tristan's house, where the taxi was waiting for me. Miss Tanner was already inside. She had gently pushed me into wearing Tristan's hoodie, and for what reason— I wouldn't know. I think it was because she felt the need to see what I would've looked like within the clothes of someone who loved me. Underneath his hoodie was my shirt. I had worn some black jeans to match the hoodie, and it thankfully covered my bandages. Miss Tanner had brushed out my unruly hair, and to top it all off, she let me wear her scarf from the university she went to.

The taxi driver drove us to the hospital, and we got out shortly. Going to the ninth floor, we waited outside of a brown wooden door. I was in a chair, staring at the door at the far right. Tristan's hospital room. I wasn't allowed to see him, as only Miss Tanner was a family member. My hands were in the hoodie's pockets as I averted my eyes, hiding my face in the scarf. The sound of laughter rang in my ears, and I looked up. With the hospital room slightly ajar, I managed to spot a woman who had recently given birth.

Yesterday I heard she was close, and she must've only given birth a few hours ago. In her hands was a beautiful baby wrapped in a blue blanket. The name Ryan was engraved in the blanket, and I saw the happy tears streaming down her face. The father of the child, I assumed, was crying in the chair next to her. She passed the baby to him, and he stroked the child's cheek. My eyes faltered for a second, and my gaze seemed to flicker. For a split second, the newborn child seemed to face me, almost knowingly.

Congratulations on the child.

I hope that you live a long and healthy life. Recognize that this world is full of danger, and remember there are safe havens out there.

May the stars be your guide.

I heard a door open and looked to my left. Doctor Hansen was standing in the doorway, a tight smile on his face. There's nothing to be happy about anything right now. How can you smile? I almost felt like slamming my head into the wall. A fragile hand held mine, and I saw Miss Tanner give me a solemn smile.

"Let's go, Little Miss."

I nodded.