The Suicide Girl [Completed]

Chapter 50: The Grave

Cheryl Faun

Are you there?

The question echoed in my head. The rain had been pouring roughly, and I was aware that it had spread all through Alaska and northwest Canada. News reporters had confronted me about it, and I said that I was indeed the cause of the rain. I didn't realize how powerful I had become though. They had asked for a reason, but I had brushed them off. Unfortunately, today was also the day where I would choose to die. The sound of my boots slapping the mud as I headed towards the grave was the only thing I could hear other than the falling rain.

The huge monument-like grave sat in the center of the cemetery, lurching over those who were kept in peace. My hand reached forward, and I brushed my fingers against the cold, wet letters etched onto the stone.

"Good morning," I whispered, placing my hand on the stone. I closed my eyes and leaned towards it. "I hope you had a great few months here. I apologize for not visiting more often.." Slowly, I sat down on the bench that had been placed on the side. My coat got wet from the rain on the bench, but it didn't matter. "How has your day been so far?" I paused and blinked, realization washing over me. "Oh. Right. It's still.. five in the morning."

My boots kicked out from under the umbrella and let the rain slip down them. I tried to think of something to talk about, but I couldn't think of anything exciting or fun. I breathed in and began speaking.

"I guess I can't think of anything to talk about even though there's so much to say," I mumbled. "Well, um, the school's going great. It's really hard there, but I'm surprisingly keeping up better than most students. I don't really think my studious habits have worn down over those four years in high school. Of course, it would be more interesting if you were there. But you know, here you are, probably watching me right now, thinking about how shitty my life is."

"I met this guy," I continued on. My fingers played with the ends of my braid. "He's one of those people who are too happy, too joyful, too.. everything. The fact is that he looks like an emo punk with the black hair and lip piercing. Oh! His name is Caleb, by the way. I have to admit that he's an okay guy and that I.. kissed him. Well, he kissed me, and I kissed him back for some reason. I-I don't know what it was. And in some odd way, I felt your presence for a second, in Caleb. I don't think that's why I kissed him back though."

The rain continued pouring, and I sighed. It was cold now. I was surprised that the rain didn't freeze into snow. The grip on my umbrella tightened, making me stand up. I walked over to the headstone and touched it lightly. I cleaned off the dirt over his name. I don't know why but I felt like crying all over again. My jaw tightened.

"I miss you..." I murmured, holding in a sob. "You probably don't want to hear that, but I'll be back with you again. Soon. I just wish.. that I could see you smile again." A tear streamed down my face, and I wiped it away. "I promise I'm doing well. I turn in all of my assignments, pay attention in class. I can cook for myself, and I guess Caleb seems to be lighting up my emptiness. But.. I want to see you again. I just learned how psychotic my family is, but at least in heaven or hell, I'll see you."

I crouched down to the ground and placed my head on the headstone, closing my eyes tightly when the hot tears started falling again.

"I love you," I whispered quietly.

I clutched the owl charm in my hand and summoned a cloud, dropping the umbrella to the ground. Quickly, I headed out to Dubai, where my last breath would be taken.

~~~

Well, this is nostalgic. I looked down at the ground below. A full 2000 feet would be enough to kill me when I fall. Five seconds. I let my hair loose and closed my eyes, my hand on my owl charm. Again, people were screaming and crying down at the base of the tower. There was no sight of news reporters, which was good. Little boys and girls were screaming down there, crying for someone to help. I felt their screams pierce through my heart. Please don't be afraid, little ones. The world would be better off without me here. The surprising rainfall had astonished the people. I felt the silent tears rolling down my face.

"This is so the world will never have to see me again..." I whispered to myself. My grip on the charm seemed to be creating a print in my hand.

And that's when I stepped off of the building, falling headfirst.

I'm sorry, Miss Tanner.

It must've been nice to have a daughter for a while, huh? I know that when I do this, I will die and leave you lonely again. My selfishness takes away what you have too... But please remember that my spirit will always fly towards your precious heart.

I'm sorry, Doctor Hansen.

You said I had to think of the future. I had to look at the world through different lenses, different perspectives. But all I could see was hell because of what was taken away from me. You're a great doctor. You really did.. care for me.

I'm sorry to the greedy people.

Committing suicide will mean the music attribute will never pass on to any generation ever. It will die out. Forever. You will never get your needy hands on it, on its power.

I'm sorry, Jonas Tanner.

You never won the challenge. But just as well, you did. If I die, Tristan will be alive and well in front of me. Alive in heaven. Well in hell. And I apologize if I was rude. Thank you.

I'm sorry to the innocent people.

You must be watching. If my words will ever reach you, I want you to remember that I did this because I was in love with someone who I thought I hated. I didn't know until he was gone.

I'm sorry.

To everyone.

Please forget me.

I can't afford to be a burden.

I opened my eyes and felt the wind rushing beside me, and my ears couldn't hear anything but the air blasting and muffled screams. The children. My tears blinded my vision, and all I could see were the cold grey clouds opening up to a warm blue sky. A light came from the opening, and I couldn't help but feel something. The sun.. is shining.

And suddenly, it all stopped.

The rushing wind. The screaming of the children. A blur of green just flashed before me, and an arm wrapped around my waist, another underneath my thighs to hold onto me tightly. My eyes widened at the touch.

What?