The Suicide Girl [Completed]

Chapter 27: Love - Past

"I-I'm sorry... I just can't do this right now," the girl whispered. She grabbed her lab coat and put it back on her shoulders. Her hair was in a mess, and the guard was leaning against the wall, his eyes blank and cold. "Captain Leo might need something, and if I'm not there, I might get killed. Or worse. He might need me to track that girl, or maybe get him something to drink, but—"

"Do you love him?"

The scientist was taken aback by the guard's words, looking up at him. My eyes widened, and I felt something shove into my heart like a dagger. She peered back down at the floor, her blue eyes blank, and I almost wanted to yell out 'no' because I knew what she was thinking.

"Yes."

"If I tell him I love someone else, maybe he'll leave me alone, and we will both live," she thought. I could almost hear the sadness hanging between the two. "This is for us, Layla. For us."

Telepathy from Marionette had such a good focus on the victim's thoughts. I had managed to attach a string to her to see her thoughts, and honestly, it broke my heart into a million pieces. The guard seemed just as heartbroken, and he sat down on the stool, putting his hands together as he leaned towards the boiler, trying to keep his cool.

"Better go before he gets mad at you then, huh?" His hair shadowed his eyes as he said through his clenched jaw, "Don't want to keep the man of your dreams waiting."

The scientist's eyes began to fill with tears, and she looked down at the floor, instantly regretting what she had said. She opened the door and walked out slowly, a stream of tears streaming down her face. As soon as her presence disappeared, the guard punched the wall. I was a little startle, not even noticing that he had gotten off the stool in the first place.

"I'm so fucking stupid.." he muttered to himself. His figure began shaking, and I swear he wiped his hand across his face. He's crying. "She's too smart for me, and she loves someone else too." He suddenly burst out in laughter, but it was empty. Cold and empty. "To think ever since Sir William started this whole thing, I loved someone who loved my own goddamn captain!"

It was silent for a while as he cried. His sobs were left unheard, but I felt as if I just witnessed pain in the form of human actions. I clenched my fists and held back my tears, trying not to choke on them. If pain is love... If this is love, I don't want it. I stood up and bit my tongue.

"She doesn't love him."

The guard turned around suddenly at my voice as I slinked out from behind the boiler. My arms stayed at my sides, still in fists. The guard was too heartbroken and blurred with emotions to attack me, and he looked away with his eyes filled with shame.

"Laugh if you want," he muttered coldly.

I felt my black hair slide down my face as I glanced down at the floor, trembling. Tears streamed down my face. "SHE DOESN'T LOVE HIM!" I yelled, repeating my words. The guard seemed startled by my reaction as tears followed the frame of my face. I wasn't mad. I wasn't angry. For a minute, I felt my heart beating like crazy as sadness poured over it like glaze. "She doesn't love that.. fucking monster."

The sleeves of my jacket wiped away the tears as I looked him dead in the eye. He was confused and startled by my reaction. "She loves you," I whispered quietly. "And if I were you, I'd go after her and ask her to run away from this insane place with me." I walked up to him and punched his arm harshly, trying to wake him up from his daze, and he flinched at the young girl crying pathetically before him. "If you really love her, sweep her off her feet and take her to a place without monsters that make her do stupid things to protect you." I felt my eyes blur as tears clouded my vision. "If you want her back, tell her to pour out how she really feels, and bring her to her paradise."

Silence hung in the air as the guard took in my words, trying to understand what I was saying. "You're right.." he mumbled, "I was just too pathetic to see it." Standing up from his stool, he glanced in my direction, trying to figure out what he should do with me. His tears were gone. "In exchange for the advice, I won't report your location to Leo. But please, stall for me so that I can run away with her."

I didn't say anything, and he understood what I was going to do. He ran off, shutting the door behind him. I touched the hot, sticky tears and wiped them away. My expression remained blank, but the tears were just... Why did I react so foolishly? That was so stupid. I sat against the boiler again and looked up. Was it because.. I shook my head lightly and smiled. I can't believe I'm remembering this now.

Flashback (Kindergarten) February 14

I sat on the swings, letting my legs dangle off of the seat. My head rolled against my shoulders as I watched the other kids play tag and push each other around into the sand. I didn't need them to have fun. Not in the slightest.

"Cheryl?"

I looked up and saw Tristan staring back at me brightly. He had a box of chocolates in his hands. The box was pink with a red ribbon tied around. It was shaped like a heart and had star stickers sprinkled on it. His blue shirt was dirtied, and a bandaid was plaster on his cheek from yesterday's game of tag. I grimaced. He had the biggest smile on his face as he put the box of chocolates in front of me.

"What do you want?" I asked unkindly. I was never one to socialize with the other kids.

He smiled even more and cheered happily, "Happy Valentine's Day! My mommy helped me with these chocolates that I made for you." His green eyes twinkled with confident pride. "Will you be my Valentine? If you don't want to, can we be friends?"

"No," I replied bluntly.

(First Grade) February 14

Recess was the most worthless time period during school hours. No one did anything productive at this time because they only played. We were growing up; we might as well replace recess with a sort of study hall. I was sat against one of the classrooms with a notebook in my hand as I studied spelling words for my class.

A shadow casted over me, and I looked up, my eyes blank. "What business do you have here?" Business was one of my spelling words.

Tristan smiled once I looked over at him. He held out a can of Almond Roca and Hershey bars. A ribbon was tied around the can, and he looked at me excitedly. "Happy Valentine's Day, Cheryl! I made this all by myself yesterday for you. I hope you can be my Valentine this year!"

"No thanks. I'd rather not."

(Second Grade) February 14

In class, everyone was making Valentine's Day cards to someone in the class. Of course, I was addressing it to the teacher, because the students in my class were very annoying and clingy. Many people had finished and were handing the cards to their person of choice, smiles and laughter being thrown about the classroom. I sat alone in the front of the class at my desk, making sure to keep away from all the other students. A card fell upon my nose.

I peered up and saw Tristan with hearts stuck onto his face, glued tight to his skin. Did he ever clean himself up? Scraps of paper were in his hair, and as always, he was smiling with delight. "Hi Cheryl. I hope I wasn't interrupting you."

"What do you want?" I asked grimly.

He put his hand in his pocket and pulled out a candy bar. He placed it next to the card, which read 'Be My Valentine'. "I hope you have a great Valentine's Day. I worked hard on the card, and I really hope that this year, you'll be my Valentine."

I snorted in an unladylike manner. "Once again, stop trying. When are you going to quit?"

"Mom told me to never give up hope," he replied with his eyes sparkling brightly. The shimmering seemed as if he was challenging me.

And I hated it.