Split in Half

41. Don't Blame Yourself

Eric's POV

"Eric?" Nicole asked me sounding concerned.

I've been quiet for probably a good 30 minutes. It's time to tell her about my past. It's time to tell her about how my life changed in the past two years.

"Eric? Please say something. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to...."

"It's just that..... what if your thoughts about me change after this?" I asked her. She looked at me confused, not knowing what to say.

"Eric we're home. Gabby go change your clothes." someone said walking into the house. Obviously my mom.

"Yes mom." I heard Gabby say as she ran up the stairs.

"Oh hi I didn't know you weren't alone. I guess I could have guessed once I saw a car out in the driveway." my mom said walking into the living room.

"Hi ma'am how are you?" Nicole asked her stretching out her hand to her.

"Oh please honey, call me Wendy. I'm good, how are you?"

"Good---"

I cut of Nicole before she could say anything else. "We're going to go up to my room." I said getting up from the couch and taking Nicole's hand in mine.

"Oh well alright. Can you stay for dinner?"

"Oh...umm I'm not sure." Nicole said looking at me.

"Yeah stay."

"Alright then I'll just let someone at home know that I'll be having dinner over here."

"Sounds good to me." my mom said smiling at her.

"Okay excuse us." I said now dragging Nicole up the stairs .

"You know....Gabby looks more like your mom then what you do." Nicole said as we reached my room.

I placed my hand on the knob, my room is a place I only use every once in a while. Nicole is actually the first person I bring in hear since two years ago. I opened the door and walked in, Nicole still holding my hand.

"Wow it's a lot cleaner then what I thought." she giggled.

"That's because I'm never in it."

"Why not?" she asked now more serious.

"That's what I'm going to talk to you about."

She let go of my hand, walking around the room. I could tell she didn't want to take hold of anything, maybe because she thought I wouldn't like that. She kept walking around and stopped in front of a picture frame.

I walked over to her and picked it up. I took a good look at it, smiling at the memory.

"Who are the people you're in the picture with?" Nicole asked me.

"My brother Derek and my dad." I answered her while walking over to take a seat on my bed.

"You have a brother? How come I haven't seen him around?"she asked taking a seat next to me.

"Because...... he passed away two years ago in a car accident."

Nicole gasped, placing both her hands over her mouth. "Oh my gosh Eric! Im so sorry to hear."

"It was my fault you know? If I wouldn't have asked him to go pick me up.... he would still be here! He shouldn't have died. I should have. I deserved to die not him! Nicole.... I'm the reason he's dead. I killed him!" I said now crying. I'm not the type to cry but when it came to remembering that day who wouldn't cry? I killed my brother. I have to live with that for the rest of my life.