NaLu [ONE SHOTS]

Suicide Note

////////TRIGGER WARNING ////////
This one-shot containg major depression, cutting and suicide, so if you are triggered by any of this please do NOT read it.
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[Lucy's pov]
And here I am again. In my room, 3 am, wide awake with tears in my eyes. I can't help but cry every single night. As a kid I never thought I will be so damn unhappy. Every day is the same: wake up, go to guild, eat, sleep. That's it, that's all my life. Damn, I really hate myself. I'm such a failure, useless little bimbo and always the weak one. I'm so done with that, I hate that everyone always have to save me, for once in my life I want to be good enough. I don't want to be a burden anymore.
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~NEXT MORNING~
"Another day I wished I didn't wake up.." I signed as I lay back to bed.
"What should I do today? Go to guild? Walk alone? Stay in bed? ... I guess I'll go to the guild." I say as I go to the bathroon to change in my regular clothes.

I walked into the guild and sit at the bar.
"Hey Lucy, how are you?" Mira asked while cleaning.
"I'm fine, Mira, thanks." I said back.
"Yo, Luce!" I heard a salomon haired boy call my name.
"What, Natsu?" I said with my head layed down in my arms.
"Wanna go on a job with me and Happy?" He said happily.
"Aye!" The blue cat yelled.
"Not today.." I said as I continued laying on the bar.
"But why not? Isn't your rent close?" Natsu asked.
"I don't care.." I said as I got up from my seat and started to walk away.
"Lucy? Where are you going?" I heard Natsu ask behind me.
"Home." I said and continued walking.
"But you just came." Happy said above my head.
"I'm tired, guys. No need to worry.. You should go on that job and later you'll tell me how it went, deal?" I said with a fake smile.
"Sure.." I heard Natsu sigh sadly so I turned around and ran to him.
"Deal?" I asked again as I hugged him from behind.
"Deal!" He yelled happily and held my arms with his big ones.
"Bye, see ya tomorrow!" I yelled from the guild doors and as I closed them my smile fade. My face become dull again, just as my emotions.

~At Lucy's house~

"Finally.." I said as my tears didn't waste anymore time to spill. I started crying and fell on my knees. It's like a ticking bomb. You never know when it's gonna explode and I hate that.
"I don't want to live like this. Please, someone... take me away..!" I begged the god to kill me, of course nothing happened... I just want to die, but I don't have the courage to actually kill myself.
Idiot, why do you even try?! You are worthless pice of shit, you're good for nothing! You know what you need to do, right? The voice in my head said. I nooded. I went to my bathroom and locked the door, I pulled out my box in which I keep my suicide notes, blades and bloody wipes. I'm really good at keeping them in secret. I took my favourite and the sharpest blade and slide it across my wrist. The blood slid down my arm and it felt so good... I made 7 new cuts there, then I went to my thighs. It was the same proces just a little more blood. I loved how cutting made me feel, it's the only time in my life when I'm in control of something, I decide if it's going to be deep or if it's going to be on my leg or my arm.
After I finished I took my medical kit and cleaned them, then put bandages over it.

[Natsu's pov]
Me and Happy were quick to finish the job, so we decided to visit Lucy.
"Hey Luce!" I yelled as I climbed up her window. The first thing I noticed was that Luce was sleeping on the bed, but when I came into the house I smelled blood. I continued sniffing until I came in the bathroom. I found the box and opened it. My eyes widened. W-Why would Luce use this? I thought as I saw blades and bloddy wipes.
Oh God.. Lucy..

"Dear everyone I'm so glad I spent my life with you in the guild. I really can't thank you enough. You helped me when my dad died and I hope you will comfort each other like you comforted me. Please, don't ever forget how much I love you. Whoever is reading this, I know you want me to explain myself, right? Well.. I don't have much to say.. I guess I have to confess some things first.
- My first confession is that I hate myself, I really do, don't think I don't know what I'm talking about, because i do. I hate how my body looks, I hate how my voice sounds, I hate the way I smile, I hate the way I treat people I love and there is a lot more, but I don't have the time now. I really don't know how could anyone love me as I am...
- My second confession is that I feel depressed. I'm never happy and my every smile that you saw was fake. I'm sorry, you are probabbly mad now because I lied. I'm sorry..
- My third confession is that I'm suicidal and I cut. I want to die more than anything. I feel useless and weak, but cutting makes it all go away, if only you could see the cuts on my legs and arms, you never noticed bandages on my arms or legs and I love that.
- My fourth and last confession is that... I love Natsu Dragneel. I know it's just a stupid fantasy to think that he would fall for an ugly, weak, depressed girl who is suicidal and cuts herself. But Natsu, if you're reading this, please know that I love you. I won't live long enough to tell you that but, I LOVE YOU! - with love, Lucy."

My tears were spilling like crazy. I can't believe how stupid I am. How could I not see that she was hurt?! I'm so dense, Lucy, I'm so sorry-
"Natsu? What are you doing?!" Lucy said, I looked at her and saw... I saw the bandages, I saw the hurt in her eyes, I saw everything... She started to cry as she realized what I saw and read.
"N-No.. No! Y-You weren't suppose to see that!" She started to cry harder, so did I. I got up and walked to her. I hugged her as tight as I could. I was so happy that she was still alive, yet I was so sad and angry at myself dor never seeing how not okay she was.
"Lucy..." I said as we both cried at each other.
"Lucy, don't die! Don't ever die, please! I'll do anything to make you feel happy again! I promise I'll never leave you! But please, don't k-kill y-yourself. I-I'm begging you!" I screamed and didn't want to let her go.
"I'm sorry, Natsu. I never wanted you to find out. I-I'm so sorry!" Luce cried as she hugged me back. We both fell on our knees and held each other.
"C-Can I see them?" I asked after few minutes. At first Lucy was shocked, but then she give in. She rolled up her sleeves and removed the bandages, she did the same with her legs. I saw her scars and fresh cuts, I hated to see them on her body. I didn't want them on her body, but she still looks perfect in my eyes.
"I-I know they're not the prettiest things to look at.." Luce said as few more tears spilled.
"You're right.. but nevertheless, I do not see you as a different person, Lucy. I never will.." I said as she looked at me in horror.
"Lies.." She wispered.
"I'm not lying, Lucy! I love you too much to lie to you!" I said and I never regret saying it.
"Y-Y-You w-what..?" She asked in disbelief.
"Lucy Heartfilia, I love you with every burning spot in my heart. To me it doesn't matter if you have scars or not, I'll never see you as anything less than perfect, you have to always know that!" I said as she jumped in my arms.
"I-I love you, too!" Lucy said and I hugged her one more time. After few minutes we separated and I held her cheeks.
"Lucy, I love how your body looks, I love how your voice sounds and most of all, I love the way you smile. Never forget that." I said as I kissed her passonately and she kissed back.

[Lucy's pov]
Natsu loves me, Natsu loves me... There actually is in this world who can love me. I'm so happy! For the first time I'm genuinely happy. I love you Natsu. Thank you..
"Thank you, Natsu.." I said as I looked at his eyes. They were beautiful, so kind and so full of truth.

~5 years later~

Me and Natsu have been dating for 2 years and that was when he...

Dumped me... he said that I can't get better and that he started to feel more down, in the end he said that he wishes me luck in life and just left. I didn't see him in 3 years, I miss him so much.. I started to cut again and I finally have the courage to kill myself. This is the last you will ever hear from me, Goodbye.

---Boom---

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I'm sorry for sad ending, but in life there are more endings like this than 'true love' crap.
And for the ones who didn't understand, the boom was from the gun she shoot herself with. Once again, I'm sorry.
See you in next one-shot, bye. ❤️