memories | shawn mendes

17

5th October 2018

"You doing babe?" Aubrey asked. I haven't been able to go to school since they break up. I've only missed 4 days. Karen said she was going to come over to talk to me. God knows what about.

"I'm- I don't know..." I huffed hopelessly. I felt my eyes tearing up. Aubrey pulled me into a hug, she let me cry into her shirt.

I was feeling more upset than angry. But I knew it had to happen. I knew the longer I dragged it the more it was going to hurt.

"Cry it all out..." she hugged me tighter and rubbed her hands up and down my back comforting me.

"How's Shawn been?" I asked pulling away from
Aubrey and wiping my tears away.

"He's good. I'm going to go see him after. Brian's been staying ."

The doorbell rang. "Who's that?" Aubrey asked.

"Karen..." I huffed.

"I'm gonna go okay. I'll see you soon." She pecked my cheek and left and opened the door for Karen.

Karen walked in. "Come here sweetie..." she had her arms open for me. I walked over and hugged her tightly. "You know that just because you and Shawn have gone a break it doesn't mean I'll ever stop caring and loving you..." she said into my hair. I nodded.

We sat down on the sofa. "I didn't come here to try and make you get back together with Shawn, Because if it didn't feel right, it didn't feel right. I just wanted to see how you are..."

"I'm good. I mean, it gets worse before it can get better."

"I know sweetie..."

"Does Shawn know you are here?" I asked

"No..."

"How is he?"

"We don't have to talk about him if you don't want to."

"No, I want to know.."

"He's hurting. He misses you..."

I bit down on my bottom lip. "I need to talk to him..."

"Are you sure that's what's best for you?" Karen asked.

"Yeah... I need to talk to him..."

"I give you guys space. No ones home but Brian and Aubrey. I'll stay here..."

"Okay.."

***

I hesitated while knocking on the door. Was this good for me? I turned my back. I heard the front door open. I looked back and saw Brian. "Alissa?"

I turned around. "Wheres shawn? I need to talk to him." I had a lump in my throat. I felt like I was going to be sick.

"In his room..."

I bit down on my lip and walked to his room. I took a deep breath. I saw him on his bed.

"Lissa?" He looked up at me. His hair was messy, he looked rough.

"Shawn..." I sighed.

"Why are you here?"

I sat down on his bed. "I need to clear the air..."

"I have one question..."

"What?"

"Did you force feelings?"

"I-" my voice broke. I nodded. I wasn't able to talk.

Shawn scoffed. His eyes were blood shot. His cheeks were tear stained. "When did you know?"

"I don't know..."