memories | shawn mendes

43

10th January 2019

The loose grey shirt hung from my shoulders. I was feeling a lot better. Aubrey, Shawn, the boys, Brian, Matthew, basically everyone was coming over to my house after they got back from school. I didn't go because I still didn't feel well enough. I got the test results for serve depression and anxiety and was at super high risk.

***

The doorbell rang. I went to go get it. It was literally everyone. Daniel walked in first. He put his hands on my hips and pecked my lips as everyone else walked into. Damn.. I've missed him.

"I've missed you..." I pecked his lips again.

Everyone was in my room. Daniel and I sat down and we spoke to everyone. I put my head on his shoulder. It felt so nice to catch up with everyone and it got my mind off of everything.

"Alissaaaa!!!" Brian shouted

"BRRIIAAANNN!!" I shouted back with a smile. Everyone laughed. I knew someone was going to ask how I was feeling.

"How you feeling?" Aubrey asked

I chocked up on my words. "I miss him..." I said looking up at them as my eyes went glossy.

"Come here..." Shawn groaned. They all pulled me into a hug. We sat there for a bit.

"We've all got you something!" Aubrey sung.

"Guuuyyyss.. you didn't have too!" I said as they placed a box in my hand. I peeled open the wrapping. it was freaking Fenty Beauty. "HOW. DID. YOU. KNOW. I. WANTED. THIS??!!"

"I mean, being friends with your boyfriend and your ex boyfriend does help A LOT!" Aubrey laughed.

I gave them all another hug. "congrats on you're modelling by the way!" Shawn put in.

"Thanks..." I chuckled "Thats gonna be on a pause right now." I smiled weakly.

***

We were all ended up talking about out future and what we wanted. "I wanna move from Canada..." I blurted out

"Why?" Jack questioned

"I feel like I need to get away. Or I want to get away from Pickering, and Toronto all together." I huffed

"Why? This is home.." Aubrey said sounding quite concerned.

"I just want to get away.. I want to have fun."

"I get it. Canada feels so small.." Shawn looked up at me and smiled. I felt Daniels grip around me get.

"I want food!" I huffed

"I can go out and buy some.." Daniel quickly responded.

"I'll go with him..." Jonah said

"I'll go!" The three of the boys said.

"What do you want?" Jack said looking at me

"PIZZA!!" I chuckled.

"Let's go boys!" Daniel said.

I put my arms around his neck and kissed his soft lips. "Bye, love you..."

Shawn, Brian and Matthew went to get desert for all of us. It left Aubrey and I. "Sssoooo... you and Dannieelll!!" She sang with a massive smile across her face.

"Me and Daniel!" I smiled back.

"You're pretty serious!! You're already said I love you.. damn girl!"

"Hahaha.. yeah" I laughed back.

"What's this Hollywood life like?"

"Urgh!! I love it! Yeah... I loved it until..." I said with my smile dimming towards the end of my sentence.

"You're so strong!" She said holding my hand and squeezing it. "How you holding up?"

"I'm tired. I've got diagnosed with severe anxiety and depression. I haven't been able to sleep at night.. I'll be wide awake and then during the day im asleep! There's a part of me at night, that's like, dads going to come home soon, don't go to sleep or you will miss him. I feel like I'm going crazy!" I put my hands through my hair. "I feel so bad for Daniel. He's gotten back from tour, he's meant to be relaxing. But he is up every night up with me, then going to school the next day..." a tear fell down my face.

"Has he been staying at your house?" Aubrey asked

"Every night.. ever since he's found out about dad."

"Wow.. he's a keeper...." Aubrey said looking at me knowing it would make me laugh.

I cuddled up to the bed.

***

We ended up all falling asleep on my bed.

***

Alissa and Daniel ♥️

@alissaanddaniel: Alissa 💔

@danieljamesseavey: I miss her 😢

@alissaXX: I hope she's okay and Doing well 🖤

@seaveydaniel: ❤️

@alissaansdaniel: OH MY GOD! DANIEL!! How's Alissa??!! Please tell us! I've been so worried! ❤️

@seaveydaniel: she's getting better x she's hurting but.. she's so strong. She can get through it x

@alissaanddaniel: awh.. my poor baby x where is she right now?

@seaveydaniel: she's with me right now... x

@daniissabae: wtf?! Daniel! Why are you awake it's 5am in Canada.!

@seaveydaniel: up with Alissa x

@daniissamood: wow.. goals...

@seaveydaniel sent a picture to this groupchat

@daniissabae: you guys look so cozy ❤️

@alissax: ❤️