memories | shawn mendes

107

28th April 2020

{Shawn's home from tour}

Manny and Karen went to the airport to pick Shawn up and I stayed at their house because I had to sit with Aaliyah as we couldn't leave her home alone.

I wasn't too excited to see Shawn as we had to have a serious conversation because both of us stopped talking to each other the last four months of his tour.

I sat on the sofa with Aaliyah on my lap and then the door Clicked and I heard shawns voice echo in the house. "It feels so good to be home." Then I heard the sound of his bag drop to the floor.

His heavy footsteps trailed into the living room. "SHAWN!!" Aaliyah squealed. She ran to him and hugged his legs as he was a literal giant compared to her.

"You're so big!!" He said "You've grown so much!" He scooped her up and then playfully threw her on the sofa.

He sat down next to me and snaked his arm behind me. "Ive missed you.." he pulled my closer to him.

I listened to his heartbeat and heard it going at a rapid pace. "Im so hungry.."

"Trust me, I've been smelling your mums roast all day, so am I.." I joked

"Mum!! Can you Hurry so we can eat?" Shawn called up making me flinch

"I'm here!!" Karen ran down the stairs "let's eat!"
She said to Shawn and I

We sat down at the kitchen table and ate our food.

***

We finished our food and we were all sitting watching a movie. "Should we talk now?" Shawn asked me in my ear

"Yeah." I nodded

"Where are you guys going?" Manny asked

"We are just gonna talk." Shawn said

"Should we go back to my apartment?" I had a feeling this was going to turn into a really heated argument.

"Do you mind driving my car?"

"Not really."

"We are going to go to alissas apartment and talk." Shawn smiled at his mum and dad

***

We sat down on my white sofa. "What's up?" I asked crossing my legs

He looked down at his lap and his his hand on mine "I think we should break up.."

Tears instantly started falling out. "Sssssshhhh.." Shawn quickly pulled me into a hug. "Don't cry.." his voice broke

"No, I know, it's for what's best for both of us." I pulled away and wiped my tears away. "I love you but I'm not In love with you."

"You know that I'll love you forever." He held my hand "it's just not the right time."

"I can say nothing for you to change your mind." I tried to pull myself together.

"It's going to make it a lot harder for us if we leave it, and I know you said that the first time we broke up." He pushed his tears out of his face.

"I get it.." I nodded to him

"I'm so sorry.." he hugged me

"Don't be, honestly, we both knew we had to do it since January. It's not healthy for us."

"Please don't cry when I leave the house." Shawn cried

"You're the one crying." I said to him trying to make him laugh a bit. "We both knew we had to do it" I wiped his tears away

"I'm gonna go now." Shawn stood up from the sofa and I did to. "Know that I'll always be here for you no matter what and the reason we broke up was because our lives are changing, I don't hate you."

"I get it Shawn." I nodded into his chest

I pulled away before I needed him out of the house because I was going to break down in front of him which I didn't want to do because I don't want him to feel bad.

I walked him out. The door shut. I slid down the door and cried into my hands. "Oh my god!" I sobbed while holding my stomach as I started feeling sick.

Shawn called me. I wiped my eyes and tried to hold myself together. "What's up Shawn?" I asked

"Just wanted to make sure you weren't crying." I could tell that he had been crying as well but the Croak in his voice.

"Alright then, I'll speak to you later."

"Brian and Aubrey are coming to get my stuff as well." He quickly added in.

"Alright then." I inhaled. "Bye lo-" I stopped myself from saying "love you"

"Bye." He ended the call and the whole apartment went silent again.

I went on my phone to call Aubrey. "Hey." I said

"Oh my god! Are you okay? Shawn told us!"

"I'm fine, just, don't come today, I'll pack all his stuff and then I'll come to yours and I'll drop it off." I sniffled

"Let me come.." she begged

"No! I just want to be by myself. I need to go." I quickly ended the call.

I walked through the house and suddenly all these memories came back to me.

I looked at the kitchen and I saw the images of Shawn and I having a food fight. I looked at the white sofa and remembered what had happened when we tried to stop seeing each other before we went on tour together.

I went into the bedroom oh my god, the amount of times we would just sit in bed and binge watch greys anatomy.

I fell onto the bed. What if I had one more day with him? How differently I would do things.

I got myself up from his bed and went to his wardrobe. His scent rushed out.

I picked his hoodies up which was folded neatly. What happened to us? I questioned

(The next chapter is part two to this one x)