I woke up late the next day kasi alam ko naman na wala akong pasok. Kapag ganitong sa hotel na 24/7 operational, luxury na yung bawat off na ibibigay sa'yo.
Since late na, I'm expecting na wala na akong maaabutan but to my surprise, my brother is sipping his coffe in our dining.
"Sophia." I heard him say. For the nth time, I don't know why I'm pissed. O alam ko? At dapat alam din nya. I mean, isa sya sa mga taong nakakaalam ng totoong nangyari samin ni Lord. How Ryla ruined our relationship. If I remembered it right pa nga, he was so mad back then. E anyare? They seem so close yesterday.
Tumuloy lang ako sa upuan ko and check what I can eat. If I'm being disrespectful, I don't care. Kung di din naman nila kayang respetuhin ang feelings ko, pake ko sa kanila di ba? So I just continue eating not minding him.
"Alam ko galit ka sakin." He started pero di ko pa din sya tinitignan. "Sana pakinggan mo ang explanation ko." He sigh before he continues. "Ryla already said sorry. She's sincere enough for us to forgive her. Siguro dapat ikaw din. Forgive her. Nakaraan naman na yun."
Wow! As in wow! Anong gayuma ang ginamit nun para mapaamo ang Kuya ko ng ganito? Forgive her? Damn!
"Move on na Pia." He even laugh. "Ikaw na lang ata ang di pa-" Binagsak ko talaga ang spoon and fork na hawak ko.
"She said sorry to who?" Nanginginig ang kalamnan ko sa galit. "To you?" I smirk. "For what?" Napapa-iling na lang ako sa katwiran nya e. "You know what Kuya? Wala akong pakeelam sa pagiging insensitive nyo sa feelings ko. Befriend with her, the hell I care. Pero sana, wag mo panghimasukan ang nararamdaman ko kahit na nga ba isa ka sa mga saksi kung paano ako nasaktan ng taong gusto mong patawarin ko." Alam kong nanginginig ang boses ko.
"Hindi naman sa ganun Pia. Para din sa'yo yung pagpapatawad. Mas makakagaan-" Should I thank him for considering my feelings?
"Is there ever a time na humingi sya ng tawad SAKIN?" Giving emphasis to the last word. "She said sorry to you, for what reason? Ako Kuya! Ako ang nasaktan!" Yes! Tumaas ang boses ko. "Ako ang sinaktan. Don't compromise my feelings just because yours is not involve." A tear fell. "Forgive her as long as you want and again, I will never care. But please, don't ask me to do something that you know will be the death of me." Tumayo na ko and head out the dining.
Pero bago pa ko makalabas ay may tao na pala na I guess nakikinig samin. Lord is looking at me. He attempts to touch me pero lumayo ako.
"Sophia." Pangalan ko pa lang ang nasasabi nya pero nagsunod sunod na ang tulo ng luha ko. And as much I wanted to go to my room, hindi na ako nakatakas sa mga yakap nya.
"I can't. I just can't forgive her." Seeing Ryla yesterday, hindi ko nakita yung sincerity na sinabi ni Kuya. Hindi ko maramdaman. More so, nakita ko pa na mas naging demonyita sya.
"Alam ko." Sabi nya habang hinahagod ang ulo ko. "Di kita pipilitin."
"Ayoko makita si Kuya." Sumbong ko naman. May nararamdaman akong guilt for answerinng back at Kuya pero mas ramdam ko ang sakit sa mga sinabi nya.
"Pia, gusto lang ng Kuya mo na gumaan ang loob mo. Wag ka-" Just as I thought na kakampi ko sya.
I push him so hard and run as fast as I can in my room. I cried so hard. Harder than I can imagine.
Just to make things clear, I never expected them to understand what I feel. Totoo yung sinabi kong wala naman ako magagawa kung sa tingin nila, santa si Ryla. Kung sa tingin nila, pwede ng pumasok sa kumbento ang babaeng yun. All I'm asking is for them to respect what I feel. If they are friends with her, fine! I'll respect that. But asking me to forgive someone who doesn't look forgivable and never ask for forgiveness, that's too much.
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