Broken (A Josh Hutcherson Imagine)

Chapter 51

51.1

*Josh's POV* Physical Therapy days are the worst. As soon as Savannah wakes up she gets hooked up to her treatment, so I usually try to leave her alone for a few hours, I can just tell she hates talking during it. Then I have to go to pt for. hours. on. end. I get there, they do nerve tests. I work on my first set exercises for my lower legs. I see the nerve test results. I do my second set of upper leg exercises. I get a ten minute rest, and then my joint exercises, having to work my ankles, knees, and then hips. Then I get to go see Savannah for lunch, and then I go back to pt to finish my final set and then do the overview with the therapist. Plus it makes me tired, and it's so hard not to just crash when I get back to the room. But I can't do that, Savannah beats sleep any day. Today as I make my way down to the therapy room, I just keep hearing Savannah's soft voice say 'I love you' run through my mind again and again. As I get into the room, one of the therapist nurses, a nice guy named Stan working himself through school to be a trauma therapist, says "Jeez Josh, looking good. You're walking well today! and you look specially happy. I mean, you just look like a pregnant lady glowing." I look down a little bit, I hadn't meant to make my happiness that known to the world. "Morning Stan." I just say with a grin instead. I get my nerve tests done, and see the results right away today. Still no change from the previous improvement, which scares me. Being able to walk like this is better than not being able to walk at all, but I don't know if I can walk like this the rest of my life. I don't know if I can handle not running, or jumping, or being able to lift Savi up whenever I feel like it. Because Stan was ready, he helped me with my joint exercises and overview first. "You gotta move your hips more like this" he says, showing me how to do it again. "I'm not good at moving my hips that way," I complain, "I'm too awkward." "Well think about this," he says, "One day when you get married your wife's going to wanna dance in front of all your guests. And you're not going to wanna look like an idiot in front of everyone you know, so you'll have to master this dance-y hip movement anyway. You might as well do it now." When he said that, the first thought on my mind was Savannah. I couldn't help but think of dancing with her on our wedding night, despite knowing her for just over a month. I finish out the morning, and Stan tells me that I can have the afternoon off to give my body some well needed rest after days of going on and on. I walk down and back to our room for lunch. "How was this mornings session?" Savannah asks me smiling as I sit next to her on the edge of her bed. "It was alright, tiring, and not great news. But not bad news either I guess, the tests just stayed the same. How'd your tests go?" I ask her, curious as to why she still seems so happy. "Well.." she starts out, unable to suppress the grin from her face, "today Dr. James told me that tomorrow I quit this treatment, and start chemotherapy!" I can't help it, I burst into smiles and kiss her, saying "That's such great news Savannah!" She goes on to tell me that she'll probably be able to be out of the hospital in two months or less, she starts chemo and radiation tomorrow, and has to do both once a day. The chemo and radiation together will suck just as much or more as the treatment did, but in different ways. She'll feel like vomiting and probably will, she'll probably get severe nose bleeds, she'll still feel dizzy and nauseous, and her hair will most likely fall out. But she gets to come home in two months. "You know what I think?" I say after she gets done explaining everything." "What do you think Josh?" She asks me sweetly. "I think that when we both get out of here, we should move in together." I respond, "I mean, we basically live together now. And I can't imagine going more than a few hours let alone a day or two without you." Then Savannah smiles and makes my day even better with a simple smile, she says "Okay, yeah. Let's do it. Let's move in together after we both get out of here." and the best part of her saying that, is that It can probably happen within the next few months.

51.2

*Savannah's POV* "Okay, yeah. Let's do it. Let's move in together after we both get out of here." you say to Josh, ecstatic that he wants to live with you, as much as you want to live with him. Josh had sat on the edge of your bed as you were talking about the chemo and radiation, and he gets a bit closer to you, cupping your face in his hands and kissing you. "This has been a good few days." Josh says after your lips part, and then he asks "should we go get some lunch?" You sit up a bit and say "Absolutely. I'm always up for food." Josh smiles just as you do, and says "and that, is why I'm glad you're my girlfriend." You stand, as does Josh and you say "I don't think I'll ever get sick of hearing you say that." Josh winces as you both take the first few steps towards the door. "Are you okay Josh?" you question, as you can visibly see the pain in his face. "Uh, yeah. I'm okay. It's just my legs hurt a little bit. I um, I need to sit back down for a few minutes." Josh's eyes get very wide, and his face pale. "Okay," you say getting closer to him and putting your arm around him to help him, "Here come over to my bed." Just as you're turning back to your bed, Josh's legs give out and he starts to fall. You try your best to keep him up, but you're just not strong enough to hold his body weight with how much weaker the treatment has made you. You can't hold him up and you know that, so you try and soften his fall to the floor. After he lands on the ground, you look at him and he winces again, trying not to focus on the pain. "Josh are you okay?" you ask, trying and probably failing to stay calm. "I uh, I am. Can you go and get Nicole?" he asks. You nod, letting him out of your arms and getting up, running to tell Nicole. You both get back into the room and Josh is laying in the same position as he was before, and he looks like he's in so much pain, it breaks your heart. Nicole asks him what happened and after he explained, she gets the machine to help him up into a wheel chair. Afterwards she explains, "Sometimes this happens to patients who just start walking again after an extended period of time. We really should've eased you back into it more than we did, but you seemed so determined and strong. I'm sorry for that. Hopefully, within a few days you'll be able to walk just fine again. As of now, you need to stay in your chair. With help from me or another nurse, you can stand to go to bed or to the bathroom." Josh just nods, and you can see he's going through countless different emotions. When Nicole leaves, you walk over to him, grabbing his hand a kneeling down by him. "Are you okay, Josh?" He won't look you in the eye, and he stays quiet and then in an extremely heartbreaking voice says "I uh, I'm not really hungry. You should go get some lunch." You move your hand to his jaw and tentatively touch it, "Josh, look at me." his eyes flutter to yours, and they meet. They're red and he's on the verge of crying. "Josh it's a minor set back. You'll get through it. Josh, you're stronger than anyone I know. I know you can do this. It's just a little setback, Nicole said you'll be back at it in just a few days." Josh lifts his hands and puts them in his face, rubbing them back and fourth over his eyes. "I know it's dumb." he says, "I know it's dumb to be this upset, it's just. I.. I'm so embarrassed." "Why are you embarrassed?" you ask him, genuinely confused. "Because.. Because you're so strong, and I'm so weak. And I want to be strong for you, because even though I know you can take care of yourself, part of me just wants to take care of you. And I just can't do that. And it is so fucking embarrassing." He says. "Josh, You've taken care of me in ways you'll never know." you say, taking a break and then continuing, "Do you remember the day you moved into this room and how rude I was, really the first few weeks. And you were so damn nice. And I was so unhappy. I was miserable, and feeling sorry for myself, and just unhappy. And then we started talking. And after that night when I told you everything.. I found myself getting happier and happier. The more time I spent with you, the more happy I got. The less I felt sorry for myself, the more I smiled. And that's because of you, all because of you. Josh, you got in an accident. You fought through not being able to walk. You may be hurt, but you're not weak." Josh smiles at you and says, "How did I get so lucky to call you mine? you always know the right thing to say." You just smile at him and then he starts talking again. "How bout we skip going to get lunch and just order a pizza?" You smile at him and then wink, saying "How did I get so lucky to call you mine?"