Back To Our Roots, Book One

I. A Note

I don't know where to start. It's been really rough.

I mean, I love you all. Sometimes I just don't feel like you love me.

I don't share my feelings. I feel overdramatic when I do.

So I'm putting it in this. I won't be here when you read it.

I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm never happy. Try as I might, I can't remember a single time I've been happy.

I can't hold a conversation to save my life.

I don't really like people in general. It's the simplest thing, to be social, but I'm just not. I'd rather be completely alone.

This note, this is going to be the most I've ever told another person in my entire life.

Yes, I did say I love you all, and I do. But being around people, being around you all... I love you, but I don't love being with you. I don't like having to hold a conversation.

I've just never been truly happy.

And there's something else. I can't tell you this, but you have to know.

I don't like this. This body. This hair. This lifestyle.

I don't think I'm a girl. Well, it's not what I don't think. It's what I know.

I know I'm a guy. I'm just not one.

Physically, that is.

I hate to dump all of this on you, but I knew you'd need to know why.

I love you. I just don't love myself.

Bye.