Back To Our Roots, Book One

IX. Aw, That's Depressing And Sweet

When Blaine and Thad showed up again, everyone except Hunter was in one dorm. Including some people Thad hadn't met before.

"Oh, Thad, this is Wes, David, and Matt," Jeff introduced them. "Guys, this is Thad."

The one named Matt's eyes lingered on Thad while he sat down, making him feel a bit uncomfortable. He'd never loved attention.

"So, what happened?" David asked.

"Apparently Sebastian and Hunter broke up," Kurt answered.

Sebastian looked up from his book, noticing they were looking at him. He sighed. "Can I just... not talk about it?"

"You don't have to if you don't want to, but it helps to talk about it. But we didn't come here to talk about a breakup," Jeff said.

Sebastian sighed again, bookmarking his page and sitting cross-legged on his bed. "Shoot," he prompted quietly.

"When's the last time you ate?" Nick asked.

Sebastian looked mildly surprised. "The last time I ate? Um..." he furrowed his eyebrows.

"You can't remember?" Kurt asked softly.

Sebastian fumbled with a thread that had come loose from his sweater. "It's not a big deal. I'll just eat something later."

"Later, as in you won't?" Nick asked.

He didn't answer.

"Sebastian, what are you doing? You haven't slept, either," Jeff pointed out.

Again, he didn't say anything.

"Sebastian," Thad's tone was urgent as he looked up, eyes wide. He forgot about being nervous with that many people hearing his voice, just as he had when he saw Blaine. "No. You can't."

"He can't what?" David asked.

"Why not?" Sebastian asked, voice breaking.

"Hunter wasn't right, Sebastian. He was abusive. Yo-"

"He didn't hit me!" Sebastian interrupted quickly.

Thad shook his head. "You misunderstand me. I mean emotionally abusive, not physically abusive."

"That's a thing?" Sebastian's voice was soft.

"Yeah, it is. And he was. Everything he said, everything was just to keep you from leaving him. Things like making you feel like you couldn't find anyone else, or that you weren't ready for the real world. That he could protect you. The only thing you need protection from is him. Well, and..." Thad's voice got a lot softer. "And yourself."

"He was right on everything he said, though. All his reasonings."

"Because they're his reasonings and he's messed with your head so that you believe them too. He's conditioned you into believing him."

"One of his reasons was that I cry too much. I don't think that's debatable."

"What, you cry too much because he yells at you too much?" There was a pause, as Thad saw Sebastian didn't have a response. "Sebastian, that's because of him. Almost all the things he accused you of are because of him."

Sebastian shook his head. "I don't..." he sighed, not finishing the thought.

"I know you feel alone. You're not alone, Sebastian. I can tell you that for a fact."

"How? I'm in a prep school, do you know how perfect everyone here is?"

Thad shook his head. "Nobody's perfect. And you don't think there's even more pressure at a prep school?"

Sebastian still looked skeptical, so Thad did what he had to do. He took off his blazer, rolling up the sleeve of his shirt.

A couple of people gasped. Blaine ran his thumb over the scar. "Oh, my god," he whispered.

Thad could see how it would shock them. It went horizontally across the top of his wrist and then vertically down the veins. It was thick, had stitches, and stuck out of his skin slightly.

It told a lot of his story, so he simply said, "And I'm here now."

Without preamble, Kurt rolled up his own sleeve. There wasn't a highly noticeable scar, but there were a multiple small, evenly-placed ones that could only have been left there by Kurt himself.

Blaine didn't say anything, just picking up Kurt's forearm and kissing the scars. Kurt blushed slightly. It was clear Blaine had already known about them.

Wes unbuttoned the stop few buttons of his shirt, pushing down one of the sleeves to reveal his shoulder. There was a single, half-inch thick scar that ran across it. "It's from my mother's wedding ring."

"Sorry, it's from what now?" Jeff asked faintly.

Wes looked at him. "Did I fucking stutter?"

David wrapped his arm around Wes's waist, knowing he was really anxious if he was swearing. Wes immediately responded to the touch, pulling his sleeve back up and resting his head on David's shoulder.

"Sorry. I just don't like to talk about it," Wes explained.

Nick shrugged off his blazer, and Jeff looked alarmed. "Nick, what are you-"

He cut himself off with a gasp as Nick rolled up his sleeve.

He didn't have scars.

He had cuts.

Jeff gently took Nick's arm. "Nick..." he said softly, eyes glistening. "You know I love you, right?"

Nick smiled softly. "I know. I love you too." He looked over at Sebastian. "Sebastian, if you get help, I will too."

Sebastian chuckled softly, looking touched. "Thank you, guys. And Nick, I think I might just take you up on that."