Back To Our Roots, Book One

XXVI. Well, It's About Time

"Wait, Hunter kissed you?" Sebastian asked Thad.

They were all in one dorm like usual, most of the attention on Thad.

Thad shrugged. "Yeah. And I can say, you know how he said you're not a good kisser? He's the one that's the awful kisser. I don't understand how he got me punching him as an invitation to kiss me."

They were quiet for a minute before Jeff spoke up.

"I know you probably don't want me to ask, but what did Ryan mean when he asked if you were still taking your meds?"

Thad buried his face in his hands. "God, Jeff, I'm so sorry about that. I didn't mean it at all. And he meant what he said, really. But..." Thad bit his lip.

"But what?" Nick prompted.

Thad paused. "I... I have borderline personality disorder," he said cautiously, looking down at the ground.

"Oh," David said, drawing out the word. "That's why you've been so mood-swingy lately?"

Thad chuckled. "Yes, that's why I've been so 'mood-swingy.'"

"I'm going to pretend I know what that is because you're still just Thad to me," Wes said, nodding as if he understood.

David elbowed him, laughing. "You're such a dork."

"I try."

Thad couldn't help but grin. They didn't care, they really didn't care.

"Okay, now, updates on you two?" Jeff asked, looking between Nick and Sebastian.

"I'm fine," Sebastian said quickly.

Nick winced. "I may have slipped up the tiniest bit."

"The tiniest bit?" Jeff repeated.

"Like, one or two before I realized what I was doing."

Sebastian cleared his throat. "Um, why are you looking at me like that?" he asked Matt nervously.

"You answered too quickly. I don't like it, and I don't believe it," Matt said.

Sebastian chuckled apprehensively. "What, do you want to check?"

"Yes."

"Oh. Okay. I mean, now?"

"Yes."

Sebastian nodded. "Okay."

Matt gestured to the bathroom, standing up.

"Kinky," Sebastian mumbled.

Matt stopped. "Never mind."

Sebastian looked back at him. "What?"

"You're flirting. You're nervous. You totally slipped up," Matt said, sitting back down.

Sebastian sighed, sitting back down as well. "Stop being a fucking mind reader."

"How bad is it?" Matt asked.

"Not that bad."

Matt sighed. "On a scale of one to ten, how much are you under exaggerating?"

"Um... I didn't faint?" Sebastian attempted. Seeing Matt's expression, he sighed. "Look, I told you that nightmare psyched me out."

"Oh, the one you won't tell me about?"

"I just don't feel comfortable talking about it."

"What happened to telling each other everything?"

"You don't tell me everything either."

Matt looked alarmed. "What do you mean?"

"You know, when we were talking about that thing we're both having trouble with?"

Oh, right. The whole crush thing. "Okay, fine."

"What did you think I meant?" Sebastian asked curiously.

Matt blushed slightly. "Nothing."

The bell for dinner rang and the others left, leaving them to it.

"So there's something else you're not telling me?"

"No, I just thought... never mind." Matt looked around the room, standing up. "They're gone. Now you have to show me."

Sebastian sighed. "Do I have to?"

"Yes," Matt said sternly, pushing him slightly in the direction on the bathroom.

Sebastian begrudgingly walked in, Matt locking the door behind them.

"So you think this person who appeared in your dream is the second option?" Matt asked, unbuttoning his shirt.

"Based on the fact that my heart beats erratically around them, I'd say yeah," Sebastian said.

"Erratically? Who are you and what did you do with Sebastian?"

Sebastian laughed, pushing him slightly. "Shut up, I know words."

"You know words," he repeated dryly. "You also do English good, too."

Sebastian blushed slightly. "Shut up."

Matt laughed, but it was cut short when he pushed open Sebastian's shirt. "Fuck..." he whispered.

He traced a finger over one of the letters like he had the time before, but this time Sebastian winced.

"It's so deep," Matt said breathlessly.

"That's what she said," Sebastian mumbled uncomfortably.

Matt didn't seem to hear him. The word on Sebastian's chest was actually in it, not shallow cuts but actual slices of flesh. In some places it was clearer than others to see that pieces of skin were missing.

"Why do you do this to yourself?" Matt asked, voice breaking.

"Are you crying?"

"Yes! I'm crying because I care about you, Sebastian. I care what happens to you. This could kill you. You have to stop mutilating yourself."

Sebastian didn't know what to say to that. "You care about me?" he repeated softly.

"Of course I do."

Sebastian ran his thumb underneath Matt's eye, wiping the tears away. "Hey. Hey, look at me. I'll stop, okay? For you."

"Promise?" Matt asked.

He couldn't help it. He tipped Matt's chin up slightly, kissing him.

The kiss was soft, letting Matt break away if he wanted to.

He didn't want to, though.

He kissed back, their lips moving in sync.

When they broke apart, Matt's eyes were wide.

"Promise," Sebastian whispered.