Back To Our Roots, Book One

CXXX. Unlocking The Tragic Backstory

"Bastian. Guess what?"

"What?" Sebastian asked, blinking himself awake. "Why do you wake up so goddamn early?"

Matt laughed. "Guess what?" he asked again.

"Hm, you're going to let me sleep in tomorrow? No, wait, my father died. No, your father died!"

Matt smacked him on the shoulder, laughing. "Nobody died, Sebastian. Get up, we have an appointment to get to."

That woke him up. "An appointment? Wait..." He looked at Matt, seeming worried, but Matt just grinned.

"We need to check on little Charlotte or Damien."

Sebastian was up and dressed in minutes, and they headed off.

"I'm just assuming you want to know, because I do," Matt said.

He chuckled. "Oh, I definitely do. I want to know everything I can."

"That's what I figured." The smile was impossible to keep off his face.

They were both quiet for a minute. "What did Kurt want to talk to you about the other day?" Matt asked. "You know, that made you so..."

"I, um..." Sebastian took a deep breath. "He wanted to know how to hold a conversation with Hunter. Without him... running away or blowing up."

Matt frowned. "Kurt wanted to talk to Hunter? That's... Why?"

"He, um..." Sebastian's fingers anxiously tapped on the steering wheel. "He thinks Hunter might be hurting himself."

"And...? There's something else."

He sighed. "Just... If he is, and it wouldn't surprise me if he is, they're going to want to help him. And they will help him. Then the old Hunter will be back, and like it always goes, he'll join the... us. The friend group, whatever you call it. It's selfish, but I just... I don't think I can handle that."

"It is not selfish," Matt said. "It's perfectly reasonable. But what do you mean, 'the old Hunter?'"

Sebastian shook his head. "He was a completely different person. Messed up, yeah, from his father, but more like Nick or Wes than how he is now. He was actually a good guy. Fiercely protective of the ones he loved– especially his mother. She was all he had left of a halfway normal family."

"What happened?" he prompted softly.

"He decided to come out to her. Tell her he was bisexual. It's not that she didn't believe him or think it wasn't real... She just didn't like it. She hated him for it. It was completely unexpected. I was there for him, but he didn't need support. He needed a way to get his emotions out. He'd never been good with them."

Matt gently set his hand on the steering wheel. "Sebastian. Pull over," he said gently. Sebastian had begun to cry.

Sebastian did so. "So I– I was his punching bag. I thought, you know, I thought it was just a temporary trauma response, that he'd get through it, but he never did. I kept hoping, I kept hoping because whenever I was about to leave he promised me he'd get help, that he just wasn't quite ready yet. I– I was a fool, I should have–"

"Sebastian." Matt pulled him into a hug, his boyfriend crying into his shoulder. He unbuckled so he wouldn't be quite so awkwardly twisted to face him. "You are not a fool. You cared about him, and from what I can tell, you still do. You can't beat yourself up about this, okay?"

"I try not to," Sebastian whispered, burying his face in Matt's shoulder. "It's hard enough when I see him this much, but if I see him as often as I see Blaine or Jeff... I can't handle that."