Dear Future Husband

February 4, 2019

Dear Future Husband,

I just want a boyfriend.

I want someone to text me hearts before I go to bed. I want someone to hang out with on lazy Saturdays. I want someone to dance with at semi. I want someone who will hold my hand just because. I want someone who will give me big warm bear hugs. I want someone to play with my hair and kiss me and tell me I'm beautiful.

I want someone to go to after a long day. I want someone who gets excited when they see me walk down the hall. I want someone that is always there, no matter what day it is. I want someone I can trust and be honest with who will be honest with me.

I just want someone who will be mine.

I see people in relationships and think to myself "Wow, I want that." and just feel terrible about myself afterwards because I feel like I can't find anyone.

I mean, I know I'm only fifteen but I want to smell the roses and figure out what I like before I'm tossed into the real world with no clue what I'm doing. Sometimes, I wish I was still dating Donovan, maybe it would've worked out. Maybe we could've been good.

I think I am a good girlfriend, I think I'm a good person. I like to consider myself pretty, I like to consider myself reasonable and chill and not a brat like a lot of girls in my grade. I'm athletic, smart, fun to be around. Or am I? If I was really all of those things, wouldn't guys notice me?

I just want someone to notice me. Anyone to notice me.

Because sometimes I just feel like no one notices.

Xoxo, Alina