Dear Future Husband

August 1, 2019

dear who fucking knows

it's like breaking up with her all over again, but ten times worse.

this time i couldn't control her leaving. this time she didn't miss me. this time there was someone else.

i had wanted so badly to come back here to see her, only to find out i would've been better off in malibu under the impression that i still had a chance.

this fucking sucks.

this

fucking

sucks

i'm back to sitting around wasting my life away feeling too depressed to do anything. my friends play lacrosse together three times a week to prepare for preseason and invited me since my concussion slavery had ended, but i just haven't had the will to. i also didn't have the guts to have to explain to them that my girlfriend was dating another girl, but i'm sure by now they knew. everyone at our school except me must've known that Alina had moved on and forgot about me.

i just wish i could get over it, you know? usually i bounce back from breakups, but this was came with a lot of weight. this one came with the big l word and ended in an l.

this

sucks

-grant