Dear Future Husband

June 7, 2019

Dear My Main Hoe,

I fucking hate finals.

They're the only thing standing in the way between me and summer and it's bullshit. Testing sucks ass and I think it should be illegal because this shit doesn't help anyone unless you have a photographic memory. We took midterms, give us a goddamn break.

It doesn't make it any better that on top of that, I have a huge lacrosse tournament coming up that I won't be able to play in because of my stupid concussion. Summer and fun seems like a distant memory at this point and I hate it.

The only bright things in my life right now are my friends and Alina. They are the only ones getting me through this shitstorm and I couldn't be more happy.

Tonight I got together with some of my friends in regular chemistry and had a study session that involved little studying and a lot of eating and shit talking. The chem exam is tomorrow and I'm probably fucked because the only material we actually got through was sig fig rules, which probably won't even be on the test.

"Alina is going to be so pissed at me," I said to Brandon as I shoved a handful of popcorn in my mouth. "I should actually be studying right now."

"Dude," Brandon said. "You're gonna fail anyway."

We both laughed. "Goddamn that's so true."

"Screw it man." Ricky said as he pushed all of our textbooks onto the floor. "The only reason we would do decently well on this exam is for colleges, and there is a very good chance we could get picked up for lax so what does it even matter?"

"You're a smart man," I said, reaching for the liter of Pepsi. "I still feel bad though, I kind of blew her off and said you guys needed my help with this stuff."

They both started laughing hysterically. "She knows you're lying, you fucking dumbass, you can't even spell."

"Yeah? Spell this," I stood up from the couch. "S-U-C-K-M-Y-D-I-C-K." I said slowly before jamming my hand down my pants.

"Fuck you." Brandon chuckled as he threw a dorito at me.

The boys were always here for me man. Through thick and thin. Through any girl, test, or general bullshit, the boys always pulled through. As much as I like Alina, sometimes I just need a good hit of testosterone to help me relax and remember that you only live once, and you better be damn sure it's a good life.

-Grant