Dear Future Husband

June 1, 2019

Dear my one and only,

Locker room talk can suck my dick.

Is it real? Yes. Is it right? No. Does it talk a lot of shit? Yes. Does it start rumors? Oh fuck yes. Does it make me angry? You bet your ass it does.

I've taken part it in and I'm not proud, but today just really shook me to the core.

"Your girl was going crazy today," Brandon said to me as we peeled off our sweaty clothing, dripping with victory. "For that last goal I thought she was going to straight up run onto the field."

I laughed. "What can I say? She's my number one fan."

"She's an annoying bitch that cries rape if you turn her down." I heard someone mutter quietly, but not quietly enough.

"Who fucking said that?" I said, throwing my jersey onto the ground.

"Calm your tits, Black, Jesus Christ." I heard Julian Rivers chuckle from across the room.

I couldn't control myself as I stormed towards him and threw him against the lockers. "You want to fucking say that again to my face this time you pussy?"

He just laughed, shoving me off of him. "We all know what really happened with Alina and Brad, you're just too whipped to see it."

I wound my arm back to knock that son of the bitch in the jaw but Brandon caught my arm. "Stop it, Grant, he's not worth it."

I ripped my arm away from him, never breaking eye contact with Julian, who was smirking like the asshole he was. "He can't say that shit without facing the fucking consequences."

Julian snorted, continuing to unlace his shoes. "Then it looks like you're going to have to fight half the locker room."

Brandon grabbed my shoulder and steered me back to my locker, pushing me lightly into it so I would continue changing.

"What the fuck does that mean?" I muttered to him.

"Look, man," He sighed, pulling up his sweatpants. "I like Alina, you know that. She's a great girl and ten times better than her sister and we have a good time. She's just been known for being... you know..."

"No, I don't fucking know." I said, turning to him. "What is she known for being?"

He looked around then lowered his voice. "A desperate prude."

I scoffed. "What the hell does that even mean?"

He took a deep breath, spraying himself with Axe. "There's been talk that she puts herself out there but never, like, puts out."

"Are you fucking kidding me? She's my girlfriend, and I've literally never seen that happen with her before." Alina was the opposite of desperate, she had everything she needed in herself, if anything guys were desperate for her. Even if she was desperate, she shouldn't be because she has me and doesn't have to put out for guys anyway which just made this situation even worse. How could they be saying that about her?

"They're probably just making shit up." Brandon murmured.

"Probably?" I scoffed. "Of course they are. Alina isn't like that." I said with finality.

I went to Denny's after and saw Alina and the rest of my friends at our usual table.

As I approached, I noticed Alina talking with my friend Ricky which I had always seen as normal and harmless, but after that conversation, I started to see it a little differently. He obviously liked her, that was easy to see, who wouldn't like her? But it was her gestures, the hand on his arm, the giggle, the goddamn gorgeous smile that always sent me to my knees, that's when I started to see something I hadn't seen before, maybe because I was always the one enchanted by it.

Maybe I should look out for myself.

-Grant