Dear Future Husband

April 4, 2019

Dear Future Husband,

Something is going on with Grant and he won't tell me what's wrong.

Usually I can be with content with people not telling me things. I pride myself on being a good listener and being the one my friends come to when they need to get something off their chest. Everyone needs someone to talk to talk to, and I will never turn down someone who needs to talk. Sometimes, people don't want to talk about stuff like that, and I always throw the option out there but it's ok to say no too. Not in the mood? That's fine. Don't feel like sharing? Your decision. Just don't want to? I respect that. I won't press, but I'm here.

But Grant, this is the second time he has gone a little... sideways. Something is really on his mind and it's invading his life and interactions and he really needs to talk about it, whether he wants to or not. Of course I want him to talk to me about it, but again, I'm not the type to press. But it keeps getting a little closer to the point where at some point he is really going to snap, at me or someone else, and at that point I'm going to do something about it and hope I get to him before he does.

It hasn't gotten that far yet, so I will just leave it, but this isn't just one of those "I don't want to talk" situations anymore. It's one of those "I don't want to talk to you" things and those aren't healthy, especially when you start expressing it other ways.

Something is definitely happening at home. Do they abuse him? Unlikely, this is the first I'm seeing it. Are his siblings mean? His reactions seem too extreme for that. Are his parents going through a rough spot? Maybe, but still feels a little basic.

I thought about asking Clarissa if she knew anything about it, but we're still butting heads, at least she is to me.

Some days are better than others. She will let me use her straightener, talks to me about Vampire Diaries, let me do my laundry first. Then-- most of the time-- she will ignore me or say something snarky when Grant drops me off and picks me up, or borrows my shoes and gets them muddy and throws them on my bedroom floor. I can't say a word to my parents, they will either defend her and say she's always like this, or if it's really bad they will yell at her and she will continue to do it tenfold just because I told.

It kind of sucked that I didn't have my sister just because of a boy, but I just wished she could understand how happy he made me, well at least when he wasn't giving me the silent treatment.

Maybe if I just let it be it will all fix itself.

Xoxo, Alina