Dear Future Husband

April 26, 2019

Dear my lovely pen pal,

You've been discovered.

And I'm still cringing so hard thinking about it.

Not all of my letters to you have been discovered and read, but it was enough to get the message across. I need to get a lock box for these or something.

Alina came over to my house for the first time today, and I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous out of my mind, but assuming no one will read this except you, I'll be honest.

I totally played it off with Alina even though on the inside I thought I might overheat and die without ever breaking a sweat.

We had gotten into a habit of going to her house after school or practice to hang out, and her parents had gotten pretty chill with me being there. I had even stayed for dinner a few times and it wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be. I was definitely still being judged so I couldn't say anything I wanted, but it was nice to be able to eat wearing sweatpants with them and not have spaghetti for once (Mrs. Troy makes the most incredible grilled chicken I've ever tasted). It was also nice not having Clarissa wearing hooker clothes and protesting everything I said, by now everything was kind of chill and I was grateful for it.

Today we got in the car after practice and I was ready to head back to her place when she said "My parents are having a dinner party tonight, so we can't hang out."

I was kind of sad, I was really looking forward to spending the rest of the night with Alina (and a home cooked meal), but mostly Alina. Because of this, I said something without thinking. "We could go back to my place if you want to."

I don't know why I offered it, I hated having people over, especially people like Alina who had a great family and happiness in their life because my place is just a disappointment compared to hers.

"I mean, I would have to check with my parents, but I would love to." She said, smiling.

This was the part where I started overheating on the inside but totally played it cool on the outside. "Cool." I said, starting my car.

A few minutes later she let me know that her mom said yes, even though I was hoping she would say no. I really wasn't prepared for this.

I would've at least brought her to my mom's house before my dad's. My mom was dating a guy with a few kids and they brightened the place up a little. I still took out Chinese at her house and stayed in my room the whole time, but it was a little better than my dad's which didn't have kids in it and wasn't decorated and didn't smell like candles. It was just cold.

I pulled into my neighborhood and suddenly got way more anxious. What would we even do at my house? It was so boring and the only place where we could have privacy without my sisters seeing was my room, and maybe Alina wasn't ready for that yet. Not that we would do anything, but maybe she thinks I want to do something. Was my room even clean?

"You live in this neighborhood?" She asked, her eyes wide as she stared out the window. "Doesn't Bill Gates live around here?"

"No, his house is a few miles outside of here." I'm not rich, okay? I hate it when my friends are all like "Bro, you're loaded." Because that's not true. Yes, I live comfortably. Yes, my parents pay for my car and gas. Yes, both of my parents have good jobs and my grandpa left my mom all his money, but I'm not rich. I can't buy an island or anything for God's sake.

I pulled into my driveway and, if it was possible, Alina's eyes grew even wider. "You live here? Just you and your family?"

My house wasn't big either, it just looked big from the outside. "Unfortunately yes." I sighed.