Dear Future Husband

April 6, 2019

Dear Future Husband,

It could've been so much worse.

I didn't think Grant was hiding it well, I thought that he was lashing out at me a lot when in reality, it could've been a lot worse.

He finally caved and told me everything and I was kind of surprised with the things he went through that he hid pretty well up until now.

His parents not only got divorced, they hated each other, like enough to want to take their children away from each other. I thought that was horrible. God, if divorces aren't already messy enough that has got to be hell for everyone in it. When you do something like that, you officially pull the kids straight in the line of fire, as if they weren't already being hurt enough before.

The divorce aside, it sounded like a pretty dysfunctional family. His parents were workaholics and often left money for takeout or a freezer pizza for dinner. His older sister kept to herself for the most part, only making appearances to hang out with her boyfriend on the couch. His little sister was pretty quiet and often escaped to her friend's houses for some love and care. He didn't even mention anything about his brother, I just couldn't imagine how he does it.

I thought my issues with Clarissa were bad, he made us look like best friends.

Hearing things like that just made me grateful that I had a good family, and it also made me respect Grant a lot more. He really deserved all of the love and care in the world and didn't get half of it.

Usually stuff like that can really screw you up, but he was still him. He was still one of my favorite people and I never would have guessed that he went through all of that. I could tell he thought I was going to keep arguing with him after he yelled at me, he was surprised when I actually listened to him and I think now he trusts me, like really trusts me, and I'm grateful for that. You can't have a good relationship without trust.

That meant that this was a good relationship, or at least on it's way to being one, and that made me really really happy.

We were nearing the one month mark and I could already tell that this was definitely worth it, and it would almost definitely last a while.

Never in a million years did I think I would be here. Never in a million years did I think that me, Alina Troy, would be wearing Grant Black's lacrosse jersey.

On game day, it was customary for the lacrosse boys to give their away jersey to their "special girl" to wear during the school day then to the game. It had been adopted from the practice of the football guys and was a great honor for a girl to wear a guy's jersey, and almost more honorable for the guy to have his jersey worn. If you still had your jersey in your locker it was supposedly bad luck for the game ahead, so a lot of guys tried to lock up girlfriends by the time the season came around to ensure their jersey got worn.

"This is for you," Grant said to me when he dropped me off yesterday, giving me a plastic bag. "I probably should've asked, and you don't have to wear it if you don't want."

I opened the bag and my heart leaped in my chest seeing it. "Of course I want to wear it!" I leaned over and kissed him. "Took you long enough."

I proudly represented number forty two in the two sizes too big jersey. The girls with jerseys gave me small smiles of respect while those without just scowled or sulked by their lockers.

Every time I saw Grant he smiled widely at me in his suit jacket, another customary dress code for game day.

"It's a little big." He said as he scanned me.

"Isn't it supposed to be like that to-- oh, I don't know-- fit you?" I asked with a laugh.

"I guess but," He took a deep breath, stroking his chin as he inspected me. "I would prefer it a little bit shorter at least to get your ass visible..."