Dear Future Husband

August 5, 2019

Dear my girl,

I left the house today and it's a damn good thing I did.

After days of moping, April got in my head again and told me that one of her friends was throwing a party tonight and I should go.

"Get out of those fucking sweatpants, let some straight girls grind against your dick, and forget that you turned Alina gay."

"Shut the fuck up," I muttered, rummaging around the fridge for something other than month old pickles and mayonnaise with no luck. "I'll go grocery shopping if you want me to go out so bad. That would be good for the whole family. Like seriously, I get we went away for a few weeks, but we don't even have ramen."

"No," She said, shutting the fridge. "Go shower. I'm leaving in twenty minutes and if you don't come with me I'm going to change the Netflix password and not tell you what it is."

I was going to argue, but I knew it was pointless. She would make me go one way or another.

April had been right before, but I was just really not in the mood to socialize, whether it be with males or females.

Reluctantly, I went.

It was-- dare I say-- pretty tame. Granted, everyone was still hammered and there were definitely some pretty crazy games of beer pong going down, but there wasn't vomit smeared across the walls, or things broken, but I had a feeling it was because of a blunt being passed around, which I saw April take as soon as we got there.

I found a few of my friends hanging out in the kitchen doing vape tricks and acting like the drunk douches they were, a few girls scattered here and there hanging around them.

"Well if it isn't Black out himself," Brandon laughed, blowing smoke through his nostrils before walking over to me and pressing me in a firm hug. "We thought you ditched us for Cali, man. How have you been?"

I shrugged. "I've been, we can just say that." I tried to bring up my attitude for these guys but it just wasn't working for me.

"Been in some Malibu Barbie's mouth?" Ricky snorted, mimicking giving a blowjob which earned a raucous cheer from the other guys.

I laughed with them, my morale rising a little for his terrible humor. "Nope, I'm trying to be just like you Ricky, forever celibate."

Their cheer from that comment was even louder than theirs for Ricky and yanno, nasty guy humor made me feel a little better. I missed the boys. That night, no one brought up Alina or her girlfriend and it was really nice not to be berated about it, but I had a feeling they knew that. For once they wouldn't be douchebags, and it was the one time it really mattered.

I almost completely forgot about her, until I saw her.

We were fucking around when someone dared Brandon to moon the people out on the patio. I went over to the screen door and took a video as he walked out proudly, then turned and let his bare ass hang out, earning shouts of disgust from a lot of the girls and whistles from the guys, but there was one person that didn't react at all, and hers was the one I noticed the most.

Alina was in the back corner partially hidden by a tree talking to her girlfriend in a very serious manner. Their sincere conversation turned into an argument that seemed to continue to escalate, and I couldn't tear my eyes off of them.

I watched as Alina began looking more and more upset, the way she looked when someone talked down to her. The way she looked when I broke up with her. Her girlfriend was getting fired up, throwing her hands in the air and her voice raising to the point where I could hear her upset tone, but Alina's always stayed level. Eventually, she finished with a-- probably very calm and validated-- response and she walked away while her girlfriend stormed by the fire pit where a bunch of kids were passing around a bottle of vodka and took a swig.