Dear Future Husband

August 11, 2019

Dear Alina,

I should move on, right?

You did, so I should too, right?

I'm a senior in highschool, I don't know anything about love, right?

You don't love me back, so loving you still is pointless, right?

I can't keep bugging you about this, right?

You deserve someone better than me, right?

Then why do I still love you so much? Why are you the first thought I think about when I wake up in the morning and the image in my head when I go to bed? Why do I love you more than you will ever love me? Is this punishment for something? Is this whatever god there is's way of punishing me for my sins? For hurting you?

I have so many questions, everything seems wrong. Everything is off. It's like everything in my life has been shifted at an angle and I'm walking sideways and my pants are uneven and the pen I'm using to write to you right now is lopsided. Everything seems off and I hope it goes away, but something tells me it won't because you're the balance in my life.

You're the one who makes everything seem right.

-Grant