Dear Future Husband

December 24, 2025

Dear Grant,

I almost forgot this book still existed! How could I, right?

It's been five years since my last entry, and too much has changed since then to explain it all, but I'll give you the quick rundown, just for this notebook's sake.

I graduated from Bridgeport Academy seventh in my class (I know, I'm such a nerd) and went to Boston College for field hockey. That was fun and all, but I really discovered myself there. It was filled with people who didn't think my dreams were all BS, so I pursued them. I graduated this year with a major in chemistry on the pre medicine track with intent to be a gynecologist like I've always wanted. I'm taking a year off for travel and relaxing and what not, but I hope to attend University of Washington for medical school.

I know what you're thinking, back to Seattle? Yeah, back to Seattle. What can I say, I love it here, and although my residency might take me elsewhere, it's my home.

So that's pretty much everything. Oh? You're wondering when I'm going to talk about you? I'm getting there, babe.

Thanksgiving break of my senior year, you came home. You texted me at least twenty times asking if I wanted to meet up, make up for lost time, but I ignored your messages. I hadn't spoken to you since you left and my only connection with you was liking your Instagram pictures. You even showed up at my house in a desperate attempt to see me, but I was out with my friends.

Don't get me wrong, avoiding you hurt, but not as much as it would've hurt to connect with you again, then let you leave. I wasn't willing to put either of us through that.

Christmas break, you didn't text me. I saw your car here and there sometimes, but I always turned the opposite way.

The summer of 2021, I saw you in Chipotle.

It was by far the worst place to see you in, knowing all the memories we had shared there together, but the world works in mysterious ways.

It might've been four years ago, but I still remember it like it was yesterday.

You were walking out as I was going in and we both stopped dead in our tracks and just stared at each other, making the people trying to get through grumble.

You looked so good. Your skin looked healthier, and you were bigger, definitely bulkier from working out for lacrosse. You grew your hair out and there was even a premature beard on your face, something your mom always hated, but with her not around you did your own thing. You looked mature, grown up. It was weird if I'm being honest, and I thought for a second you outgrew me too.

"Hey Grant," I said, smiling. "Long time no see."

"Uh, I-I," You had no words, you were just blinking at me with your mouth open and I could almost hear your heart thrashing against your chest.

"How have you been?" I asked, my own heart beating just the same.

"I've-" You took a deep breath. "You're so beautiful."

Right then and there the only thing I wanted to do was just kiss you all over and hold you and never let you go, but looking back now I'm glad that didn't happen. "Take care of yourself," Was all I managed to say before pushing past you and going into Chipotle.

If I'm being honest, I thought about that encounter every day until I left for Boston. I replayed it in my head a hundred times, rewinding, pausing, fast forwarding, working out every other possible scenario in my mind, taking in the details of your face, your arms, down to the smell of the food in your bag. Even now, four years later, I remember you were wearing a grey Duke shirt, with black sweatpants, white sneakers with teal laces (Nike to be specific, with a scuff mark on the inside of your right foot), and you held your bag of food in your left hand. That's just how much I savored that moment.