Dear Future Husband

May 29, 2019

Dear my lifeline,

FUCK!!!!!!!

FUCK

FUCK

I FUCKED UP REALLY BAD

Remember how I felt really good about that test? Remember how I borrowed answers from Alina? Well, I got a 40.

Under the circumstances, I was surprised to have gotten such a low grade, but wasn't going to stress about it because I always managed to scrape by at the end of the marking period still passing. So I just continued on with my life.

Big fucking mistake.

I was chilling at my locker today waiting for Alina and I's daily chat when I see her walking down the hall not looking happy. In fact, she looked pretty mad.

"What's up?" I asked as she approached me, extending a sympathetic hand to brush some hair from her face but she swatted me away.

"What did you get on the chem test?" She asked, crossing her arms.

I swallowed hard. "A forty."

She angrily swung her backpack around so she could access it and began rummaging around in it, finally pulling out her own test. "That's funny, because I got a fifty which should've been a hundred if she hadn't deducted half of my points for academic integrity!" She shoved the test in my face, shaking with rage. "Did you cheat off of my paper?"

I didn't even know what to say. Yes? Should I tell her "Yes, I cheated off your paper because I'm a dumbass"? No? "No, I didn't Mrs. Bradley is lying to you"? Alina was really fucking mad right now.

"I didn't copy every answer." I stupidly decided on.

This only made her more angry, angry to the point where her face was red. "Give me your test."

I opened my locker immediately and pulled out the crinkled up paper handing it to her.

She grabbed it from me and started comparing the two tests to each other. "'Once the system has reached equilibrium, both the forward reaction and reverse reaction are equal to each other as well as their rates of reaction.' Seriously?" She scoffed. "That's word for word! Did you even try to change it? You know what?" She jammed the test back into my locker. "Nevermind, you shouldn't have been cheating off of my paper in the first place! What made you think that was okay?"

"Alina," I started, not sure if anything that I could say would make this better. "I'm so so sorry-"

"Really? Are you really sorry? Maybe if you were sorry you would've never taken my answers in the first place. God, after all I've done for you? We work together on chem every week! I'm sure as hell not the one who needs the help, Grant, I'm not doing it for my health, it's for you! And you take advantage of me!"

"Alina-"

The bell rang and she scoffed, slinging her bag over her shoulder. "I have to get to class."

I feel awful now. If I had known that would've been the outcome, I would've reverse cheated and made sure all of our answers were different. I thought it was no big deal, I used to do it with my friends all the time, we had each other's backs. Never in my life had I ever gotten caught, had points taken off, or had anyone get as mad at me as Alina had. She didn't deserve a fifty either, shit, this wasn't her fault. She had nothing to do with it. I would take a zero for the semester if it meant she didn't have to take the blame for this.

I blew off that period to go see Mrs. Bradley during her free period.

"Hey can I talk to you about my test?" I asked as I approached her desk.

She didn't even bother to look up from her computer, she just sighed. "My cheating policy was very clear in the syllabus, Mr. Black. Fifty points off the grades of both offenders, no exceptions."

"Yeah, I know, I just kind of need you to make an exception."

She laughed, looking up at me. "Are you not hearing me, Grant? Or would you like me to formally report you to the office?"

"Look, Alina had nothing to do with any of this. I was sitting behind her, I copied her answers, and she didn't know anything about it. Those answers were one hundred and ten percent hers and she wasn't trying to give them to me or anything. She deserves the hundred she got and if that means I have to take her fifty points off, so be it. Give me a zero on this test and ten points off the next one, just don't punish her."

"As noble as that is, I have no way of knowing if that's true, and my decision is final. Maybe next time you won't jeopardize another student's grade if that's true."

I tried pushing her but she wouldn't budge and I had no choice but to take the L. It didn't help that the teacher from the class I was supposed to be in was pissed I was late and without a pass and gave me a detention, but I deserved it.

I was just hoping Alina wouldn't hate me too much.

-Grant