Dear Future Husband

March 9, 2020

Dear Grant,

It's our one year anniversary! I know we had some bumps along the way, but we will just pretend those were just little breaks from each other where we were still connected, just apart.

Yeah, I know I haven't written to you in a while, but I haven't had to, because everything I've been feeling and experiencing I've been able to tell you in person. I figured I would pick up the old notebook again for our one year to really tell you how much this whole journey has meant to me.

We started off a little awkward, a little rough, but I think that's just because we were afraid of messing things up, and we're teenagers, what do you expect? Then we got the hang of things. We understood each other more, we laughed more, we shared good moments, and bad moments. Moments of passion, and anger, sadness, and joy. It all worked together to strengthen us, to prepare us for our greatest test, which we failed at first. That level of understanding we developed with each other wasn't quite developed enough, and we went our separate ways for a while, which in a way brought us closer together. We learned that we were nowhere near as strong apart as we were together, and you came back to me even when I was buried under layers of doubt, denial, and despondence. You came back and helped me realize what I was missing.

Since then, we haven't held back. We've laughed together, cried together, and just about done everything together. Whatever reservations we have, we talk about. Whatever time we can spend together, we do. Whatever problems arise, we fix them and come out stronger than ever. I didn't know what this meant for a while, I didn't know I could feel this way about someone so soon, but you proved me wrong.

Grant, I love you.

There, I said it.

I haven't been able to say it to you in person-- it's daunting enough on paper-- but it's true. I like to save that word for when I really mean it, and I think I really do. That word I always intended for my husband, and I think you're him.

When I started writing these letters, I don't think I could've ever imagined the receiver to be my sister's boyfriend, but here we are. All this time, even as I look back, everything I say somehow applies to you. Everything I wrote when we were together, I thought in the back of my head of you when I addressed my husband. Everything I write is for you, and everything I write is for my husband. I put two and two together, and I'm finally starting to accept that.

I know I'm only 16, I know it's early to be jumping to such conclusions, and I won't freak you out in person by telling you you're who I'm supposed to be with now, but if we make it to our wedding one day, then I'll be content, and I will be reassured 16 year old me wasn't so stupid for jumping to conclusions.

For now at least, you're my favorite human, my best friend, and the love of my life, and I'm so happy we've made it this far.

Happy one year!

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

<3

Alina