Dear Future Husband

February 26, 2019

Dear my girl,

There is still hope for my chem grade.

Today, me and Alina started tutoring again, and we picked right up where we left off and I'm on fire.

I wish she would just teach the class, she was so good at it and explained things better than Mrs. Bradley. Then again, if she taught the class, she wouldn't be my lab partner, and I still wasn't the strongest in the Bunsen burner department.

Recently I've noticed that we've gotten really close. I mean, I guess it makes sense after all we have been through together, but I had thought with Clarissa and everything, she might have thought it would be awkward. She passes by my locker on her way to global and always stops to talk before she has to go to class. Whether it's about chem or something she saw, or even just to ask me how my day was going, I had kind of started to look forward to those three minutes between fourth and fifth period.

I think she likes me...

Like, like likes me. I could be wrong and she could just be nice, but she seems more excited about our three minutes conversations than I do, and she's still kind of shy around me I guess, but still always says hi even when I don't see her. And she does this thing where she ties strands of her hair into knots with two fingers whenever she talks to me, and I have had enough girls like me to know that usually that means something.

I guess I'm flattered that she likes me, but I'm not looking for a relationship right now, and I most certainly do not want to be guilted into it just because of how nice she is. Besides, dating down a grade will make me look like a douchebag, and will also make my friends mess around with me more than they already do. Plus, I dated her sister which would make things even worse. Besides, I don't even know if I liked her like that. We were friends, and I didn't want to ruin that.

I don't know, not going to worry about it, but it's just something to look out for.

But I may or may not have done something slightly stupid to make her think I liked her.

So we had our second tutoring session today and everything was going pretty smoothly, got some homework done, figured out a couple concepts, and had our usual small talk. We got on the topic of friends and, of course, I had something to say about that.

"My friends are assholes." I grumbled as I balanced a few equations. "I mean, all guys are, but they can be so annoying sometimes. They're the reason I broke up with Vanessa--which I guess I should be grateful for that-- but if it was actually good and they ruined it..." I shook my head. "I don't know, they're assholes but most of the time they're pretty fun and I have a good time with them. What about you?"

She sighed, resting her head in her hand. "I mean, my friends are great people and they're pretty fun,"

I snorted. "Sydney is one of them right? The drunk one at the party? She looked fun."

She laughed a little, shaking her head. "Sydney and I aren't that close, I just kind of hung around her at the party for a while, she's a little too extreme for me. My friends are cool though, and I like them, but we don't hang out outside of school as much as I would like to. They're really smart though, and athletic, so whenever I try to make plans they have to study, or they have tournaments or something like that. It's fine though, I mean my schedule isn't exactly ideal either."

Here comes the stupid part. "If you aren't doing anything this weekend and want to, me and my friends and some of their girlfriends are going to see that Alita Battle Angel movie on Saturday if you wanted to come." I realized that it sounded a lot like a group date and quickly tried to cover it up, even though it didn't so much except make me look more like an idiot. "I mean, not like a date or anything, you could bring someone if you wanted to but," I took a deep breath, mentally kicking myself in the balls for sounding like such an idiot. "Yeah that didn't mean to come out as awkward as it did."

She laughed, starting to knot her hair again. Dammit, she didn't buy it at all. "That sounds really fun actually. I'd love to, and maybe I will bring a friend. Thanks."

I smiled sheepishly. "No problem."

So yeah, she's actually coming on Saturday and I'm starting to question why exactly I thought it was a good idea. My friends are going to make fun of me, she's going to think we are dating, and the movie will probably be shit.

I guess I was just trying to be nice, but I wasn't a nice guy!!!!! So why would I do that?

Fuck.

-Grant