Dear Future Husband

June 11, 2019

Dear Future Husband,

Halfway through finals! It's been tough, but I'm slowly pulling myself through them. Im studying my butt off so they haven't been terrible, but I'm still waiting for them to be over. Summer doesn't start until I'm done with all things school.

Grant on the other hand, I'm not so sure about. We compared answers after the test and ours were very different which meant one of us was wrong, and it wasn't me because I studied really hard and checked all the ones I wasn't sure of. He had assured me that he studied, the night before he had a study session with a few of his friends after saying he didn't want to study with me.

I'll admit, at first I was a little offended. Chem was our thing. I had taught him how to do chemistry and I was looking forward to studying, not only to guarantee him getting a decent grade on it, but also to spend time with him. Studying alone in my room wasn't as fun, especially when I knew Grant was off having fun studying with his friends.

Emphasis on "having fun", because it didn't seem like there was much studying going on based off his answers. I would feel like such a failure if he got a bad grade on his test, I was his teacher and that would mean all of our tutoring was for nothing. Well, not for nothing I guess because we've gotten a lot closer because of it, but it wouldn't have fulfilled the goal intended from the beginning.

The chemistry final is over now so I guess there's no going back. But what isn't over is the fact that Grant hasn't been spending much time with me lately. I know he's busy with supporting his lacrosse team, but I feel like he's been distant. I'm hoping it's because he's studying very hard for his tests, but I highly doubt that's the case. I pray that it's not because of me or something I did. I get it, it's finals and summer is right around the corner and we're both busy, but I really want to spend time with him. I had imagined summer as our peak season, there were no school weeks in the way and plenty of free time, I hadn't imagined we would see each other less.

I don't know what's going to happen, I just hope this ends soon.

Xoxo, Alina