In due time (Completed)

Chapter 32- Decisions

Kate

I found myself awakening to a heavy weight draped across me. Tyler looked so peaceful in his sleep with his head on my chest and his arms wrapped around my waist. Not a single worried or stressed out crease marred his forehead like it did earlier.

The time on my phone told me that it was 5 in the afternoon. I have no idea where all of this fatigue was coming from lately. I'm never working a 21 hour shift at the hospital again.

I pry his arms off of me and try my best to gently move from under him so that I don't wake him. I stop when he begins to move but he doesn't wake up. He really needs to rest. I go to the bathroom to freshen up before I take my glasses and phone and head out the room, making sure to close the door as quietly as possible.

It's almost dinner time. I should probably make something for us to eat. I always preferred a home cooked meal more than take out. To be honest, cooking is the one household thing that I actually enjoy doing. It's sort of like a hobby, aside from reading of course.

Gosh, I sound like a boring housewife.

I raid the refrigerator and cupboards to look for ingredients to whip up a quick meal. I find linguini pasta and shrimps and decide to go with a simple garlic shrimp pasta in white sauce. I get to chopping, preparing and cooking everything. I leave the pasta to boil last and allow the shrimps and sauce to cool. I dump the pasta in the boiling water on the stove and leave it to cook.

It'll take at least 30 minutes and I already find my mind drifting off to places I hoped it wouldn't go. The place that involves me and Tyler and everything that's going on right now.

Being alone with my thoughts is the most dangerous thing ever as I begin to evaluate my life and do some serious soul searching. Can Tyler wake up already so I don't involuntarily go down that road?

Looking back at the past 9 months of my life since moving here, I can honestly say that I've never been happier. In those months I've got an apartment, a great job and made 5 great friends, one of them being an incredibly special friend. If someone told me that I'd be sitting in Tyler's Blake's apartment making dinner for us 9 months ago, I would've personally driven that person to a psych ward.

A part of me is ever so grateful to have someone like him in my life but there's that little part, that part that still has the bubble wrap around it that makes me feel really guilty about being with him. It's not that I don't enjoy it or that I don't have feelings for him, it's the fact that throughout these past 4 months of us dating, Tyler practically handed every little details of himself and his life to me on a silver platter while I'm yet to be transparent with him in the same way.

It's moments like this that I wish that he knew every sliver of information about me and yet I still find it difficult for me to open up to him and tell him my whole truth. I feel like it's about time for me to be absolutely and completely transparent with him but I just don't know how to start. Where do I start? How would he react?

Well whatever those answers may be, I know for a fact that with all that's happening right now it's best if I finally open up sooner rather than later. I really do want to tell him everything so that this weight that I've been carrying around on my shoulders for nearly 20 years finally decreases. It won't leave, ever, but perhaps it'll be...better? Well, it did get better over the years with me having my mum and Alex by my side... Alex.

I should call Alex. I've been thinking about doing it since I had that chat with Tyler last night. I thought that if there was a slight possibility that all of this isn't happening because of Tyler then Alex might just know something. Shouldn't he? He usually knows everything when it comes to my life.