Fat Girls Romance

My disguise

"I found myself by losing hope

I lost my way to find a home

I hid myself to stay alive

Now I'm ready to face my disguise"

-Motionless in White, "Disguise"

      I have a disguise. Maybe you do too. My disguise is this fat 15-year-old girl who is strong and independent. She knows what she wants and goes for it. She doesn't listen to anybody. She lives by no rules. She's quiet at school and around people she doesn't know but is an animal with her friends. Her name is Strayfire, but everyone calls her Leyla. She's like one of my heroes. 

      When she gets home she lets her guard down just a little bit. She does her homework, takes her shower, and watches videos and Netflix. When the sun goes down her disguise is gone. She is alone in her room and sometimes wants to break down in tears. She doesn't allow the tears to fall. She distracts herself from everything in her life with BMX videos. 

      She calls herself Grace when that's her confirmation her real name is Leyla but she feels that she can't call herself that because she isn't like Leyla. She stays in her room all by herself and watches videos and Netflix until it is so late that she has to go to bed. 

      When she wakes up in the morning her disguise is back. She's ready to channel her attitude and pretend to be Strayfire.