Fat Girls Romance

Lost Generation

"I can't keep on living life like this, so sick

A million reasons why you hate me might fit

Convince me why I'm worthless, tell me again

Tell me again how I have no purpose"

-Ocean Sleeper, "Worthless-No Purpose"

      I know the Lost Generation was the 1920s. I just feel like I should have been part of that lost generation because I do not belong in generation Z. I feel even more lost with every step that I take. I do not know what I will do next or even what my next thought will be. I should have been born in the 1920s. I have the mind and heart of a person from the Lost Generation. I feel like Nick from the Great Gatsby. He was part of the Lost Generation. He lived in a small house in a rich neighborhood. I would really like that for myself. His neighbor, Gatsby, had parties all the time and they were wild. Randoms would show up and drink and have a good time. That sounds really nice to me. 

      Today is April 4th. It has been a really long time since I have said anything to my readers. Today happens to be my birthday. If I'm honest, I don't like a big fuss about turning 16 but being trapped inside my house with a family who makes everything about everybody else is not what I think of when I hear the word "birthday". We are going to my grandparents for cake and ice cream and my grandpa is making dinner. It is no secret that I have a strong hatred towards my grandparents. On top of that, my dad got his infected tooth pulled today so he is miserable and my grandpa asked him what he wanted him to make for my birthday dinner. Let me emphasize "MY BIRTHDAY DINNER"! I get that my dad can not eat certain things but we can get him soup or something, I wanted pizza from a family friend's pizzeria. Correct me if I am wrong. When it is someone's birthday they usually pick the dinner right? This is the most important birthday I could have. Bitch, I am fucking 16!!!!!!!!! I almost did not live to be 16 with all the shit in my life and my head. I have had a tough year. I even absolutely destroyed my fucking wrist like 2 months ago and still have pain in it after having a cast on for 3 weeks and wearing a brace. I needed a god birthday and especially with the fucking world flipping a bitch right now. People stay home, I am only saying that once. I need a good birthday. Also, most of my family and friends forgot about my birthday, "thanks", here's a big "fuck you". This whole day has been sitting on my ass watching tv and the half-hour to 45 minutes I took to work out. My whole point of this conversation was that I want pizza for dinner because it is easy, it's my birthday, and I'm trying to be at my grandparents as little as possible. Everyone else in my family picked what they got to eat on their birthday. Fuck my aunt made exactly what my brother asked for, my parents each got a dinner they liked. My dad can only eat soft foods like soup right now and "hi I'm me. I don't eat soup". I know weird right but I hate soup. So not only do I not get a say, I don't even fucking eat the food he is making so here is my birthday and my dinner is cake and ice cream and an ass beating from my parents for not eating the dinner my grandpa made for me. This dinner is supposed to be for me but it isn't for me if it isn't even something I eat. This is so unfair, for years my birthday has been getting fucked up by something. It's been personal family situations and now the coronavirus. I'm 16, I wanted to order pizza with my family, play board games, and eat cake and ice cream. But this is my life where I can't even do that because my family is literally full of the biggest pieces of shit in the fucking world. I'm glad I got that off my chest because I was really close to exploding. Not that I didn't just explode on here. 

Onlinegirl0404 becoming Offlinegirl0404 PEACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!