"You're all so fucking outrageous
I can't take it
Motherfuckers more than a little complacent
Where did it go?
Where did it go so wrong?
Just sit the fuck down, pay attention
There's too much noise, for a second listen
Where did it go?
Where did it go so wrong?
-Asking Alexandria, "Where did it go?"
When did everything turn to shit? Seriously, I am asking. I do not fucking know, for the life of me. I am so fucked up. I am so confused. Everything is always my fault. I know this is my 100th chapter in this story but trust me there will be so many more.
I go to this job, you know, the job I am always talking about. Anyway, I go there 5 days a week with this person who just returned home after 33 days in rehab. We were going to the job later today so I decided not to go because when we go late it fucks everything up. My dinner gets ruined, time to myself, and when I go to bed. Everything gets messed up and then the next day sucks because I did not finish the day before.
When I decided not to go my mom called me a bitch. Which is not new. I probably hear that about 30 times a day. She says I let this person go there alone in a bad neighborhood by all of these drug dealers. She expects me to protect this person and make sure they do not fuck up their sobriety.
Let me just give you an update on who I am real quick. I am 15. I am fat. I am pretty tall. I wear all black. I am really shy. I love this person more than I love my mother. I am just like this person. This person is 45 years old. I will continue my story.
My mother expects me to protect this person who should be protecting me. If she wanted this person to be protected, she would get her ass out there. I got to school 7 hours a day which is already hell. Then I come home to do my homework and shower. Then I head to that job for 2 hours. I get home around 8:30. I eat dinner. Pack my stuff for school. Study for my tests or quizzes. Then I go to bed and then I am rudely awoken in the morning by the sound of my mother's annoying voice.
I am forced to go to this job every day after school. I get no time to myself. I do not get paid for that job. In the beginning, I got $200. The person I go there with took all of that back. I only spent $20 out of that money. My money. Everyone just expects me to go and work my ass off every day. I do not get days off and I am doing it just to keep watch of this person that I love.
The truth is, I am so fucking tired of doing things for everybody else. I get told all the time that I am selfish, worthless, lazy, and even stupid. Maybe I am all of those things at least that is what people tell me. If I am selfish, why do I do a job every day and get nothing out of it? If I am worthless, why do I have someone who means the world to me tell me that he cares about me? If I am lazy, why am I running around every day after school to do a job that I really do not need to do? If I am stupid, then why the fuck do I have the one person who truly cares about me telling me that I am amazing and a literal hero?
Why won't everybody just shut the fuck up?
Onlinegirl0404 becoming Offlinegirl0404 PEACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Fat Girls Romance
Non-FictionGrace is an overweight teenager. She has acquaintances, not friends. She has crushes but shut them down when she sees what they are really like. All Grace wants is romance, but she feels that she will never get it because she is overweight. This is...
