Fat Girls Romance

Update

"When I'm not crazy

I'm just a little unwell

I know right now you can't tell

But just wait a while and maybe then you'll see

A different side of me

When I'm not crazy

I'm just a little impaired

I know right now you don't care"

-Matchbox Twenty, "Unwell"

      Today is November 26th, 2021. I have not updated you guys in a while. I stopped writing. I stopped writing music. I have stopped everything that felt like an escape from my reality. I stopped writing down how I feel. I don't like that. I stopped writing about how I feel because my truth is that I can't feel anything. I am not numb as others have mentioned to me. I just feel like I've lost the ability to feel things. Major changes are occurring in my life but I feel nothing about them. My heart feels emotionless. I have some emotions obviously but none that I can describe, I just feel emotionless. I feel like nothing could describe how I feel and I don't even know how I feel. Let me elaborate on my current life situation. 

      My dad left. My mom cries all the time. My brother gets mad about every little thing. School is stressful and harder. My mom yells the majority of the time. Work is becoming a daily thing and is a little distracting to my school work because I am 17 and I am working like 30 hours a week. My driver's test is next week. I'm not prepared for it. The holidays are here. I hate the holidays. I haven't cut myself in what feels like forever but in my head I know it's only been like 3 days. Before my current life situation my only hell was school and work. I've added a new one to the list, home. What is home? Home is hell. Why is home hell? I don't know. 

Onlinegirl0404 becoming Offllinegirl0404 PEACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!