Fat Girls Romance

Running From Myself

"Running from my shadow, now my shadow is my only friend" -Mike Shinoda, "Running From My Shadow"

      In case my life wasn't so easy to read, I spend a lot of time in my head. When I spend the time in my head I like to be alone. Being in my head is very dangerous, some of you might understand that.

      My head is like my shadow. It's a totally different side of myself. When I'm in my head I start to feel sad and unworthy of who I am. When I feel that way I run from the issue and try to distract myself. I don't tell people about what goes on in my head. I just run from the thoughts that fill my head by watching a video.

      I'm basically running from my shadow. My shadow has always made me feel worse about myself. My shadow is the reason why I am who I am. My shadow causes me to distance myself from those who might actually care about me.

      On the last day of school in eighth grade, my shadow caused me to distance myself from my supposed friends. I feel like me distancing myself made my friends become supposed friends. After a while my friends started making me feel uncomfortable. I'm realizing now that I haven't found the right friends for me, that's ok. I just need one good one.

      I have a lot of friends from my old school, but only one at my new school. She's a pretty good friend, too. I want more friends, but sometimes one is better than none.

      I don't need everyone in my grade to be my friend or even more than that. I just need one good friend who will stand up for me no matter what. A good friend that will answer their phone when I call. A good friend that I can share my biggest secrets with. A good friend that I'll have forever.
 
      That's all I need. One good friend so I can stop running from my shadow, but run to that one good friend when my shadow takes over.

      Bye.