Fat Girls Romance

Leftout

"I think, I think too much

I'm a little bit paranoid, I think I'm breaking

Maybe It's in my blood

I got a pain that I can't avoid, I think I'm

Breaking down"

-I Prevail, "Breaking Down"

      I was left out a lot last year. My supposed friends didn't want to include me when they were going to each other's houses to hang out. It took one of them turning on the other two for someone to finally tell me that the friends I thought I had didn't really exist. They were just closed minded people who would eat lunch with me. If I had known earlier about not being included I would have ditched them and found people who actually wanted to be friends with me. 

      I still wonder all the time why I wasn't included. Sometimes I even ask them. Why? I continue asking even though I get the same answer every time, "I don't know". I know they are lying to me to protect my feelings, but there is nothing to protect. I have no feelings anymore. It's all their fault. I just wonder if there was something about me that I could have changed so they would have no reason to exclude me.

      Kids around the world are excluded everyday. They probably ask themselves the same questions, ask others the same questions, and wonder the same things I did. They want to know why because they think it will make them feel better about themselves. The truth is it won't make you feel better. You will feel worse because you're going to say " If I had known that was the reason I was excluded, I would have changed that about myself". The thing is you should not have to change who you are to make people like you and wanna hang out with you. When you are excluded you just say " Oh well. They didn't include me. That's their problem. They just couldn't handle my awesomeness." That is sure to get you through it. If you're like me you might never get through it. You will try a million different ways to forgive and forget, but it all just seems impossible. The people who excluded you won't remember ever doing it because it meant nothing to them. You meant nothing to them. That's why you were excluded in thw first place.

      To be honest, I don't think any of us forget, but we can forgive. I'm still working on that part, but I'll get there someday. When I do get there I will feel free. I can't wait until I do.

Onlinegirl0404 becoming Offlinegirl0404 PEACE!!!!!!!!!!!