Behind Classroom Doors II

CLI- The Sacrifices We Make

There's a bright light shining in my face when I wake up. I squint my eyes and lift up my hand to cover my face. That's when I notice the wires hanging from my arm. I'm in a hospital, and I'm alive. "You're awake." Shawn. His voice is hoarse and sad, but God if it isn't beautiful.

I lower my arm just as my eyes adjust to the lighting and see Shawn sitting beside me. He looks exhausted, I lift my hand up and touch his face. "Have you been crying?" I question, noticing the puffiness of his eyes, and the tear stained cheeks.

Shawn sniffles, "Livia, what do you remember?" I think about what I remember last. I remember the sound of his voice last. I also remember what happened. How Dean found out I was pregnant, and got angry. "We need to talk about what happened." He says finally.

"I know what happened." I muster all of my previously dormant strength and sit up on my elbows. "Dean found me in the library and made me go back to the hotel. I remember telling him I was pregnant and he freaked out because it was going to ruin our plans. Then I-" I stop. Suddenly everything that happened after that came back to me. "Oh God..." I look at Shawn. I mean really look at him. He's distraught, he's upset, he's grieving. "No I-" Tears start to fall down my face as realization comes to me. "The baby is gone, isn't it?" I thought it was a girl, we never found out the gender.

Shawn watches me react, and sucks in a shaky breath. "He hit you...really hard, Livia." The words barely leave his lips. It's like he can't breathe anymore.

"No." I deny it. I have to, how could Dean do something like that?

I look at Shawn, his heart is breaking, and I can see that now. "He knew what he was doing. I'm sure the doctor could explain it better but basically, it was already such an early pregnancy and-"

"Say it." I know it's wrong to ask him to say the words out loud. "I need to hear you say it."

Shawn meets my eyes, "It's dead. Our baby is dead." I was wrong to tell him I was pregnant. I should've known Dean would do anything to get me back, even something as cruel as this.

"Where is he?"

"Dean? He's in jail. The police were waiting to take your statement but I told them to go away. I didn't want you to wake up to that." Even in a time of crisis, he still looks out for me.

I reach over and grab his hand again. He holds mine back, squeezing gently and letting me cry. So much has happened that I can't even unpack right now. I'm just left with this feeling of emptiness. "Livia, you're awake."

"Mom?" My mom stands in the doorway, with a cup of hospital coffee in her hand.

She rushes in and hugs me. "I swear to God, Dean is going down for this."

I pull away first. "How did you know I was here?"

"Shawn called me, of course. Everyone is here." She points behind her, "Out in the waiting room."
Everyone? "Who's everyone?"

"Jenny, Becca, Luke, Katie, Hunter, and Seth. Jake stayed with the baby."

"What? Mom why are they here? They have lives I-"

"You almost lost yours, Livia. Again." She almost snaps. "I don't have to remind you that people care about you. They all bought a plane ticket to make sure you were okay." I know she's right but this isn't what I wanted.

Especially since all of this happened because of me. "Okay." I say. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize." Shawn tells me quietly. "You don't have to see anyone right now."

I nod. "Can I just have a minute. With my mom please?"

"Yeah, I could use some caffeine." Shawn stands up and kisses my forehead before leaving.