Behind Classroom Doors II

CXLVII- Who's To Blame?

Livia's P.O.V.

    I pull away from Shawn completely now. I'm not sure what came over me but the second I saw him, I needed his arms around me. I needed the safety blanket and I didn't care who was watching. This vulnerability that I seem to have with Shawn, could prove to be a bad thing. At least now that Dean is back. "What did Dean say to you?" I question him, moving to the kitchen for some water.

    Shawn follows me and sits on one of the bar stools. His elbows rest harshly on the counter top. "Well he has it in his head that I'm in the way of you two. That if I never went to Brookview, you'd still be with him."

    "I'd probably be dead." I didn't mean to voice my thoughts but it just slipped out. There's no doubt in my mind that Shawn has been thinking the same thing. He'd just never say that because there's no point in dealing with the-"what if's?" I pull the bottle of water out of the fridge and open it up in an attempt to drink it. Shawn eyes me wearily. Normally I can decipher the words behind his eyes but right now I'm falling short. "Is there anything else?" I add lightly.

    Shawn sighs, telling me there is. "I know it's nothing but, Dean said you knew he was coming back. He made it seem like you were keeping it from me." I think back to the bathroom last year. Dean had me against the wall, he told me he would come back. I didn't take him seriously but apparently I underestimated him.

    I push my hair behind my ear, suddenly needing this water a lot more than I originally thought. "Yes he told me. I should've told you but I didn't think he was serious. I told him not to and then you walked in and that was that. The last time I checked he was in Stanford having the time of his life I-"

    Shawn picks up on something, he cuts me off to add, "Wait you've been checking up on him?"

    "W-well...yeah. I might have added him on Instagram to see if he's doing any better." I set the water bottle down. "He messaged me but I unfollowed him and never answered." Something clicks in my mind as I gasp. "Wait, you don't think he...?" I trail off.

    Shawn stands up and walks over to me, "Livia listen to me" Shawn demands. "Dean is a control freak. Ever since the New Year's party, he's lost all of that control. You gave him something to hold onto."

    "No, I didn't know he would...oh my God it's my fault he's back." It was just Instagram, I thought checking up on him would be harmless.

I suppose that mixed with what he promised me in the bathroom was enough to go through with it. "It's okay. He's not going to get to you, I promise."

I take a step back from my boyfriend. "You can't possibly promise me that. I can't just hide here, I have classes, doctors appointments, I have my car at Seth's apartment." Besides, he's made it clear he knows where Shawn lives.

"We have more to think about this time." This time. It rolls off of his tongue but I'm not so sure he knows what it means. This time means we've been through this before and yet nothing has changed. Shawn is still a professor at my school, meaning the only thing he can do is sit back and let everything play out on it's own. I'm still terrified but now it's not just my life at stake. That's what he meant by there's more to think about.

But I can't think about the baby right now, I have to figure out how to get Dean back across the country. "No way is he getting to me this time." I say, walking past Shawn and over to the door. I put on my coat and shoes, "I'm ending this, tonight."

"Where are you going?"

I grab Shawn's car keys and toss them over to him. "The police station, he's been stalking me." He catches them in the middle of my sentence. "Afterwards we can stop off at Seth's and I can get my car."