You Don't Know

40

*Peach*

_ Welcome back, Ashton said as he opened the door for me and I entered.

He was carrying the duffle bag ,I brought with me when I left, over one shoulder and the key chains in the other hand. 

_ Please, make yourself comfortable, he added as he followed me in and closed the door behind us.

Then he turned to me making a funny grimace with his face.

_That sounded lame, didn't it? He chuckled and I nodded laughing at him.

_ Well, I'll go put this in the bedroom, he said referring to the duffle bag, and you should get some rest.

I nodded my head slightly and sat down on the couch quietly. And,it wasn't too long until he appeared again.

_ Can I get you anything? he asked as he approached me.

_ I could use a drink, I half-smiled turning to him.

_ Sure, he whispered making his way to the kitchen.

Soon after, he came towards me with a bottle of Vodka and an empty glass in hand. He sat down next to me and I watched him as he poured me some. I looked at the small quantity of liquid in the glass. That won't help me get over this rough day, now would it? Then I looked at the bottle in his other hand and it looked tempting. That would do the deed, obviously. I sntached the bottle from his grasp and I started drinking straight from it.

_ Wait! It's too..., he strated saying with wide eyes.

Suddenly, a burning sensation filled my mouth and throat. My eyes strated to water and my nose to sting. 

_ Strong... he finished in a sigh.

_ Holy shit, I said panting.

_ Yea... let's put this down here, he exhaled taking the bottle from my hand and posing it on the coffee table in front of us, now tell me what's upsetting you, he demanded holding both my hands in his.

His eyes were on mine encouraging me to speak, to let it all out. I wish I could. I wish it wasn't so damn hard to tell him. But what was I supposed to say? That my father is a goddamn druglord that caused the death of plenty of people along with the death of his own son? That I know that someone killed my brother and he didn't overdose like people are assuming? That there's an anonymous person threatening to kill the people I tell the truth? What part of this wouldn't possibly freak him out? 

_ I... I really don't want to talk about it now, I sighed looking away.

I heard him breathe out in defeat. 

_ If that's what you want, he said.
_ I'm sorry, I mumbled.
_No, no I get it. You're not ready yet and I don't want you to feel obligated, he smiled softly and I smiled back.
_ Okay, so I need to take a quick shower. Are you going to be okay? He added.
I nodded and he got up to his feet whispering a quiet "be right back".
I looked at him as he disappeared then I rested my head on the back of the couch. The house was quiet but I couldn't enjoy the serenity. In my ears, Calum's voice was in loop. His grunts, groans, whimpers from the audio.
I tried to shake it off but I couldn't, and the bottle of Vodka was staring at me. I checked once again if Ashton started his shower, like a kid before doing something stupid, then I took it and started to drink.
The burning sensation came back as the liquid entered my body but I couldn't care less. It wasn't as strong as the rage, the pain inside me.